IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that cars should be banned from large cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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As the global population has increased significantly, so has the number of the automobile on our roads.
This
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 dramatic rise has led to the suggestion that large urban areas should prohibit private
automobile
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automobiles
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. I firmly believe that the implementation of
such
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 a policy would have disastrous consequences for two main reasons which I will explore in
further
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 detail in
this
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 essay. Banning
cars
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 from the
city
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 centre of a number of large urban areas will eventually cause additional problems
due to
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 insufficient infrastructure. As tens of thousands of commuters who previously relied on using their own
cars
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 will suddenly be required to find alternative methods of transport to enter the
city
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, existing public transport facilities and infrastructure will be overwhelmed. In the case of commuter trains,
for example
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, simply adding extra services will not work if the train stations cannot cope with these new commuters,especially as most of them need to enter and exit the
city
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 during peak
hour
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hours
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.
Therefore
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, abruptly banning
cars
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 without additional investment in other services is a recipe for disaster. There will
also
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 be devastating economic consequences as many
businesses
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 in the heart of the
city
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 rely on private vehicles to deliver supplies on a daily basis. Without
this
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 form of transportation, these
businesses
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 will not be able to conduct their day-to-day operations. It would be particularly challenging for restaurants and florists who require fresh produce and flowers to be delivered every day.
While
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 a ban on private
cars
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 may improve traffic and lower pollution, it is
also
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 likely to cause
businesses
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 to fail and increase unemployment. In conclusion, despite the rise in ownership of private vehicles and the resulting urban issues, banning these vehicles is not a viable option. Doing so would mean that public transport services would not be able to cope with the higher demand and many companies relying on the use of private
automobile
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automobiles
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 would struggle to run their
businesses
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 successfully.

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Task Achievement
Well-developed arguments with clear reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Clear explanation of the consequences of banning cars from large cities.
Coherence and Cohesion
Effective transition between paragraphs for improved coherence.
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