It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good baheviour to children?
Some people argue that it will be worthwhile for youngsters to know distinct between good and bad work in their childhood and they suggest that punishment needs to be imposed to guide students in the right direction. I disagree with
this
phenomenon that harsher punishments
like physical hurts would not address the issue well and bearable punishments
like not talking with them for a while
and disallowing them to play can be effective.
To begin
with, it is important to identify good and bad behavior in childhood because those personalities will be effective when they grow up. f a student gets involved in wrongdoing it might be a high chance of doing the same thing repeatedly even if they are not advised. It is common for many people who get involved in crimes, whoever did a bad thing at their school or at home and they were not advised properly. Additionally
, many undeveloped countries follow harsher punishments
at schools or at home. This
can be identified as violence and sometimes children will suffer mentally and physically. It is uncommon in developed countries and crime rates are also
considerably lower compared to undeveloped countries. Strict punishments
like physical hurts will not be effective because they will lead fumes over with their parents and teachers and attempt to commit more crimes in the future.
On the other hand
, firstly
teachers and parents should teach their children to identify good or bad things
and teach them to follow only good behavior. If children tend to follow bad things
,they should be warned at first. Although
they do not ask for advice from elders, they should be punished a little by not talking with them prohibiting them from playgrounds and imposing restrictions on computers and mobile phones.
In conclusion, even if students should identify the difference between good and bad things
, I disagree with heavier punishment unless they are not able to follow good things
. Moreover
, they should be warned first and enforcing little punishment will be the most effective way to address the issue.Submitted by Praslah on
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Introduction & Conclusion
While your essay does introduce the topic and provides a conclusion, it could be improved by providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Make your position known in a more specific manner.
Supported Main Points
Make sure to develop main points with clear support and examples. Some of your arguments would benefit from specific instances where light punishment led to better behavior in children.
Logical Structure
The logical structure is generally clear, but transitions between ideas can be smoother to aid in the flow of the essay. Use phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs.
Complete Response
Your response addresses the topic, but it would be enhanced by discussing the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the statement in a more nuanced way. Consider exploring both sides of the argument before stating your conclusion.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Strive for clarity in your exposition of ideas by ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea that is well-explained and not overshadowed by other points.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Though your examples are on point, they could be strengthened with more detail or by citing real-world scenarios or credible studies that support your opinions.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.