You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you. You should write at least 150 words.

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing you

this

letter to inquire about essential electrical devices that would be available to buy from your shop in the upcoming days. I would like to purchase several items

such

as a Microwave, refrigerator, Television, and a toaster.

However

, I could not find

this

quality and latest products in any other places where I live so I have decided to forward your place whether they will be there to buy order or not. For more information, I would like to access in-depth details about the price of individual products, so I can manage to pay straight forward if these electrical equipment are available online or at the shop. Can you provide me with the best price or any discounts for a new member who wants to create a membership in your shop? I look forward to seeing your response. Yours faithfully, John Carten

Submitted by patelhardik2199 on Wed Dec 13 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clear idea and is fully expanded upon, providing all necessary details the prompt requires. This may include precise models or brands for the electrical goods, specific features you're looking for, or any particular preferences you may have.

coherence and cohesion

Maintain a consistent and logical structure throughout the letter to clearly convey your message. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly, and ensure that there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion.

task achievement

The letter's tone is mostly appropriate, but it could be enhanced by including polite requests and using a more formal style of language where needed. Avoid overly casual phrases and make sure to maintain formality throughout.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

150 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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