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Band 6

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money
Critics argue that having a huge amount of money is the fundamental way to feel contented in
life
.
This
 essay will outline that how having a large amount of it can lead
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 having a peaceful
life
, followed by certain other aspects which can give happiness to individuals. In essence, being wealthy can result in financial stability with which a person can satisfy his needs and desires.
In other words
, they do not have to struggle hard in
life
 to raise their standard of living.
Also
, they can buy luxurious cars, travel to various places in the world with their spouses without being worried about the monetary constraint.
For example
, in a recent article it was claimed that in some cases, money is the factor
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 brings stability in married couples as there are fewer arguments.
Moreover
, if a person is rich, he can retire in his early forties, and explore his hobbies and interests.
Furthermore
, spending time with friends and family can help humans to live a
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
life
, as it not only results in having a great bond but
also
 relieves stress.
Additionally
, people feel fortunate if they have a
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
 job even after earning a low salary.
For instance
, a doctor doing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
volunteer work in an underdeveloped country may earn
negligible
Add an article
the negligible
a negligible
show examples
 amount of fees, but to treat an underprivileged section of society is a priceless reward for him. These are the points
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 cannot be overlooked. It can be concluded that
although
 having immense wealth can help people to live a luxury lifestyle without being worried about their finances, the factors
such
 as spending time with loved ones, and job satisfaction can be the reasons for one’s well-being.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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