Schools should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future career. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #students #subjects #future #career #music #sports

It is sometimes argued that schools should remove non-academic

subjects

such

as music and sports from the syllabus so that

students

will focus on academic fields which are helpful for their profession. While it is true that academic

subjects

are important, I do not believe that extremely concentrating on teaching academic

subjects

is a good idea.

Firstly

, from the

health

point of view, non-academic activities are helpful not only for their physical

health

but

also

for mental

health

For instance

, after studying and sitting in academic classes for the whole morning, it is better for

students

to do some outdoor or art activities

such

as dancing, playing basketball to get rid of stress.

As a result

, their learning ability and concentration in the afternoon will be improved. Focusing only on the academic area is not only harmful to student’s

health

but

also

make their capability decrease.

Secondly

, not all of the

students

need to be excellent in academic

subjects

to achieve success in their future career.

For example

, there is no point in getting A grades unnecessarily in science-related

subjects

if a person wants to become an excellent singer or a footballer. By encouraging

students

to engage in extra-curricular activities, the school can bring out their hidden talents in other fields.

This

will help not only the

students

but

also

the society since that creates the diversity of occupation. In conclusion, I do not accept the argument that focusing on only academic

subjects

is more helpful than non-academic fields for

students

in developing their future careers.

Submitted by 1339232976 on Thu Mar 04 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In many professional sports, there is a increase in the number of athletes used banned substances to improve their performance. what are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?
Many famous sports players indulge in the intake of banned drugs such as steroids to increase their stamina. The major causes behind this scenario are earning more money to get financially stronger and increased pressure from the media to win the competition. The possible remedies to cope with this issue are strict regulations on the ground for players and making the public aware of such cases through seminars.
6
band
Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?
Recently the issue has been brought into focus. Nowadays, it is common to see stars in their lives speaking about almost everything that may not be related to their career and profession and have created a great impact on their admirers. I believe that it is a negative and positive development. In the following paragraphs, I will propagate my views on this phenomenon.
<4
band
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Whether genuises are born or made has become one of the most debated topics in recent decades. Some people argue that talent is a natural gift ,while others believe that anyone can become an excellent achiever through hard work and dedication.In this essay I will discuss both views and my opinion as well.
6.5
band
People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages.
In many countries these days, more and more people prefer to have children at older ages. Although there are some drawbacks to consider, I believe that the benefits of this trend outweigh the downsides.
6
band
Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communicate had has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
It has suggested been that more and more young people communicate by electric products like mobile phones and computers in recent years, most people think that it's harmful to the development abilities of reading and writing. In my opinion, it's undoubted that will have disadvantage for our such skills.

Schools should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future career. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many professional sports, there is a increase in the number of athletes used banned substances to improve their performance. what are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communicate had has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree with this statement?