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Writing Samples
Band 8

Schools should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future career. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #students #subjects #future #career #music #sports
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It is sometimes argued that schools should remove non-academic
subjects
such
 as music and sports from the syllabus so that
students
 will focus on academic fields which are helpful for their profession. While it is true that academic
subjects
 are important, I do not believe that extremely concentrating on teaching academic
subjects
 is a good idea.
Firstly
, from the
health
 point of view, non-academic activities are helpful not only for their physical
health
 but
also
 for mental
health
.
For instance
, after studying and sitting in academic classes for the whole morning, it is better for
students
 to do some outdoor or art activities
such
 as dancing, playing basketball to get rid of stress.
As a result
, their learning ability and concentration in the afternoon will be improved. Focusing only on the academic area is not only harmful to student’s
health
 but
also
 make their capability decrease.
Secondly
, not all of the
students
 need to be excellent in academic
subjects
 to achieve success in their future career.
For example
, there is no point in getting A grades unnecessarily in science-related
subjects
 if a person wants to become an excellent singer or a footballer. By encouraging
students
 to engage in extra-curricular activities, the school can bring out their hidden talents in other fields.
This
 will help not only the
students
 but
also
 the society since that creates the diversity of occupation. In conclusion, I do not accept the argument that focusing on only academic
subjects
 is more helpful than non-academic fields for
students
 in developing their future careers.
Submitted by 1339232976 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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