Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

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In recent times, there has been a growing debate about the high costs of
healthcare
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in some countries.
While
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some people believe that private health
services
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offer various
benefits
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, others argue that they lead to significant issues. In my opinion, I strongly believe that the drawbacks of private
healthcare
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far outweigh the advantages. To commence, the popularity of private hospitals creates numerous disadvantages. The primary issue is financial inequality, as it disrupts the affordability of
healthcare
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services
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for many citizens, thereby degrading living standards.
This
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issue could lead to monopolies in the future if governments fail to address it.
For example
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, if certain large
healthcare
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centers
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centres
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dominate the market, ordinary citizens—constituting more than 50% of the population—might find it increasingly difficult to afford necessary care.
Additionally
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, the proliferation of private
healthcare
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centers
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centres
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results in the loss of
healthcare
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staff, including doctors and nurses, from government hospitals, as these professionals might opt for higher salaries and better
benefits
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in private facilities.
Consequently
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,
this
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leads to a decline in the quality of service in more affordable
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centers
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centres
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.
On the other hand
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, private
healthcare
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services
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can offer several
benefits
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.
Firstly
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, private companies often have larger budgets, enabling them to provide advanced technological tools and machines for treatment,
such
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as high-quality
x-ray
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X-ray
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machines, brain scanners, and various sensors and detectors. These advancements significantly support doctors in diagnosing diseases more accurately.
Moreover
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, private
healthcare
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creates job opportunities for doctors and nurses, offering them valuable experience and higher incomes. In conclusion,
while
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some people may believe that private medical
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centers
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centres
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can provide significant
benefits
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, I strongly think that it is
more
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apply
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essential to ensure that
healthcare
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services
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are affordable for every resident, from the wealthy to the poor.
This
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is the government's responsibility to provide wellness and an excellent living standard for all citizens.
Submitted by title848 on

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion. However, incorporating more specific examples and evidence would strengthen your arguments and provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus. Occasionally, the essay introduces multiple ideas too quickly, which disrupts the logical flow. Constructing paragraphs with a singular focus can enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Include more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments seamlessly. This will help in maintaining better cohesion throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported, particularly in discussing the financial inequalities caused by private healthcare and the advantages of advanced technology in private hospitals.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cutting-edge technology
  • highly skilled professionals
  • patient experience
  • outcomes
  • personalized care
  • healthcare practitioners
  • competition
  • standards
  • government burden
  • public funds
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disparities
  • profitability
  • over-treatment
  • neglect
  • non-profitable cases
  • ethical concerns
  • financial status
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