Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

In recent times, there has been a growing debate about the high costs of
healthcare
in some countries.
While
some people believe that private health
services
offer various
benefits
, others argue that they lead to significant issues. In my opinion, I strongly believe that the drawbacks of private
healthcare
far outweigh the advantages. To commence, the popularity of private hospitals creates numerous disadvantages. The primary issue is financial inequality, as it disrupts the affordability of
healthcare
services
for many citizens, thereby degrading living standards.
This
issue could lead to monopolies in the future if governments fail to address it.
For example
, if certain large
healthcare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
dominate the market, ordinary citizens—constituting more than 50% of the population—might find it increasingly difficult to afford necessary care.
Additionally
, the proliferation of private
healthcare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
results in the loss of
healthcare
staff, including doctors and nurses, from government hospitals, as these professionals might opt for higher salaries and better
benefits
in private facilities.
Consequently
,
this
leads to a decline in the quality of service in more affordable
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
On the other hand
, private
healthcare
services
can offer several
benefits
.
Firstly
, private companies often have larger budgets, enabling them to provide advanced technological tools and machines for treatment,
such
as high-quality
x-ray
Capitalize word
X-ray
show examples
machines, brain scanners, and various sensors and detectors. These advancements significantly support doctors in diagnosing diseases more accurately.
Moreover
, private
healthcare
creates job opportunities for doctors and nurses, offering them valuable experience and higher incomes. In conclusion,
while
some people may believe that private medical
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
can provide significant
benefits
, I strongly think that it is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
essential to ensure that
healthcare
services
are affordable for every resident, from the wealthy to the poor.
This
is the government's responsibility to provide wellness and an excellent living standard for all citizens.
Submitted by title848 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion. However, incorporating more specific examples and evidence would strengthen your arguments and provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus. Occasionally, the essay introduces multiple ideas too quickly, which disrupts the logical flow. Constructing paragraphs with a singular focus can enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Include more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments seamlessly. This will help in maintaining better cohesion throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported, particularly in discussing the financial inequalities caused by private healthcare and the advantages of advanced technology in private hospitals.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cutting-edge technology
  • highly skilled professionals
  • patient experience
  • outcomes
  • personalized care
  • healthcare practitioners
  • competition
  • standards
  • government burden
  • public funds
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disparities
  • profitability
  • over-treatment
  • neglect
  • non-profitable cases
  • ethical concerns
  • financial status
What to do next:
Look at other essays: