IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female study in every subject. Do you agree or disagree.

#universities #numbers #study
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
During the
last
Linking Words
 decades,
gender
Use synonyms
 equality has rapidly improved, and nowadays, it is controversial whether universities ought to accept an equal number of
men
Use synonyms
 and women. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because the assumption appears for me not to take account of the genuine meaning of
gender
Use synonyms
 equality.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, rejecting prominent applicants due to their
gender
Use synonyms
 would be a hindrance for both universities and students. Naturally, the students’ sex balance is one-sided since
men
Use synonyms
 and women have distinct tendency due to the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 body function and hormones.
For example
Linking Words
, boys tend to be fascinated by vehicle,
thus
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 are more likely interested in Physics.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it might cause a lack of opportunity for talented students, and it is
also
Linking Words
 unprofitable for society.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it might discourage youngsters from aiming to enter a specific department if they thought it would be more challenging because of their
gender
Use synonyms
. Above all, it might deepen sexism to judge people by sex
instead
Linking Words
 of their own ability. If adults talk about sexism when considering higher education, it impresses youngsters as if the world is divided between
men
Use synonyms
 and women. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society becoming more LGBT friendly, we should not categorize people into only he and
she
Change the pronoun
her
show examples
. In conclusion, I modestly deny
this
Linking Words
 idea because it might enhance sexism. Any educational facilities ought to provide opportunities for everyone regardless of their
gender
Use synonyms
, race, and creed. I believe
that is
Linking Words
 a hopeful way to ease not only
gender
Use synonyms
 discrimination but
also
Linking Words
 the equality of humankind.
Submitted by yuka312.1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: