some people think that teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree.

Teenage
Correct article usage
The teenage
show examples
years are
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
period in everyone's life.Some individuals uphold the view that
adolescents
should be encouraged to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
voluntary
community
work
as a leisure activity,
also
it would be beneficial for young people as well as for
society
.I firmly believe that
community
work
will enhance the
adolescents
Change to a genitive case
adolescent's
adolescents'
show examples
role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible citizen.
Firstly
,
adolescenceis
Correct your spelling
adolescence is
a complex phase and it is completely different from the other stages of psychological development. Teenagers during
this
phase are more inclined towards learning and exploring new things.
Thus
, engaging youngsters in voluntary
community
work
such
as helping students from
poorer
Add an article
the poorer
a poorer
show examples
section of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
with their studies will increase their cognitive skills.
Moreover
,
adolescents
are less likely to involve in bad activities.
For example
,
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
survey has shown that
youngters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
who are participating in
community
work
are reported less in juvenile crime and drug abuse cases.
Secondly
,teenagers commitment to the local
community
work
also
increases
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community
welfare.
For instance
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
community
union members in
vietnam
Change the capitalization
Vietnam
show examples
have collected 1500 dollars to build a school in
mountainous
Add an article
a mountainous
the mountainous
show examples
area. In
adittion
Correct your spelling
addition
, youngsters and adults
involvement
Replace the word
involved
show examples
in the local
work
leads to
the
Change the article
an
show examples
equal and respectful environment.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
grown up
Add a hyphen
grown-up
show examples
can help in mentoring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers to become
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
responsible citizens. To conclude,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that
adolescents
should be encouraged to participate in voluntary
community
work
after their school hours because of several potential benefits that it can bring to both the adolescent themselves and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Submitted by kaur39082 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: