IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society.other.believe that school is a place to learn this. discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
It's quite an essential
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
of
Change the preposition
for
show examples
aldults
Correct your spelling
adults
 to let
children
 know how to become a civilian being useful for
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
communication.Many people suppose that just
parents
 are likely to show their offsprings how to gain moral standards, whereas others believe that
children
also
 realise the
realistic
Replace the word
reality
show examples
 of the world to have good
behavious
Correct your spelling
behaviour
behaviours
 by learning from the
school
 environment. On one hand, the option to teach youngsters to have good conducts by
parents
 is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 in some ways.
Firstly
,
parents
 are people who understand their kids the most.It means that they know exactly all characteristics of their
children
, whether these are good behaviours or bad habits in order to adjust their
children
's manners in the right way.
Secondly
,
children
also
 truth their mother and father than anybody,
therefore
 it is easier for
parents
 to guide their offsprings to become a good person of society.
Finally
, all
parents
 just want the best thing for their kids so that they are willing to bring up their
children
 to be a good guy with no condition and any private intention. One the other hand, there are some reasons why
school
 is
also
 an appropriate environment for the raising of the child.At
school
, youngsters are taught to respect all of their friends and
also
 have good manners with their teachers.If they express some negative thinking or rude behaviours with somebody,they will be punished by
such
 a strict
descipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
 of the
school
.
In addition
, communicating with their friends
also
 make them have more perception
about
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
th
Correct your spelling
the
 humanity.
In other words
, they will be able to recognise the
realistic
Replace the word
reality
show examples
 of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society by keeping
touch
Change preposition
in touch
show examples
 with a wide range of people to know the right way to become a good civilian. In conclusion.It seems evident that both views of conducting youngsters to become the person that needed for the civilization by both family or
school
 are
advantagerous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 in their own ways.
Submitted by chautran654 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: