IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependant on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss and give your own opinion.

#people #world #dependant
There are students that after finishing school,
instead
 of going directly to the university, prefer to take a
gap
year
, travelling or working. In my opinion, the advantages of a
gap
year
, both personally and professionally, outweigh the disadvantages, like the delay
to begin
 a career. There are several benefits to going travelling or working before choosing a major. The main one is the opportunity for one to explore various occupations before initiating their studies in order to find out what truly interests them and what do not.
This
 reduces the chances of disappointment in the future when beginning their careers.
Furthermore
, these professionals tend to be more qualified and successful because of the interest they have in their field of study. Another immense positive outcome of a
gap
year
 is personal growth. Most people do not understand the importance of getting to know different cultures and lifestyles until they do.
This
 is probably the most enriching experience in life since it teaches them to respect and admire the diversity in the world, which is a game-changer nowadays.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 drawbacks. The principal one is that the time spent travelling or working could be used in college.
Consequently
, they will have their career’s beginning delayed, which may cause the loss of professional opportunities. To conclude, I reaffirm my opinion that the merits of a
gap
year
,
such
 as the lower uncertainty when deciding their major and the personal growth, outweigh the drawbacks, like the risk of losing some opportunity because of the delay
to begin
 their career.
Submitted by eduardamallmann on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: