All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born. What is your opinion?

Some companies give extra vacations to
mans
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when they become
fathers
. From my point of view, it is a positive trend. I guess
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
fathers
should bring up their
children
as well as mothers do.
This
initiative will help women to stay mentally healthy.
Furthermore
, newborns will take
fathers’
Correct pronoun usage
their fathers’
show examples
attention, which is necessary at
this
age.
Firstly
, women face a lot of difficulties, when become mothers. They have to have sleepless nights, their organisms are very weak, and they have no
time
for rest.
For example
, the
first
week of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
motherhood
is almost always consists
Change the verb form
almost always consists
show examples
of endless screaming of a baby and a very large number of things to learn for the
first
time
.
As a result
, they could become very nervous and depressed. Thereby, it is essential for their husbands to take some days off
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work and help with
baby
Add an article
the baby
show examples
.
Finally
, kids need both parents’ attention, not only
mother’s
Correct pronoun usage
their mother’s
show examples
.
For instance
, there have been situations, when infants did not recognize their
fathers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they spent less
time
with them.
Fathers
can give newborns
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
of protection and safety. It is critical for people to understand it, and spend as much
time
with
children
as it is possible. To sum up, employers should let
mans
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
to take holidays
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when their
children
are born. In my humble opinion, it has a lot of pros and no cons. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
society will support my views and families will grow their
children
together. It will be very useful for
children
and parents as well.
Submitted by Alina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: