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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that younger generations can learn a lot about how to be good members of society from older generations. Others think it is better for younger people to get advice on how to be a good citizen from their peers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some
people
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 believe that young
people
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 should learn how to become good citizens from older
generations
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,
while
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 others think it is better for them to gain
this
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 knowledge from their
peers
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.
Although
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 learning from elders has certain advantages, I believe that
advice
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 from
peers
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 is often more relevant and effective. On the one hand, older
people
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 can provide valuable guidance based on real-life experiences. Having lived through various challenges, they can teach younger
generations
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 how to make wise decisions and avoid common mistakes.
For example
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, they can offer practical
advice
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 on handling family problems, financial issues, or unexpected life events.
In addition
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, older
generations
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 are rich sources of cultural and historical knowledge. Learning from them can help young
people
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 understand their roots and develop strong moral values and a sense of identity. These life lessons are difficult to find in textbooks or online sources.
On the other hand
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, I believe that learning from
peers
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 is more effective in today’s fast-changing world. Because they are close in age, young
people
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 often face similar challenges and can explain things in a more relatable way.
For example
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, students often help each other with academic subjects using simple language and shared strategies, which has been shown to improve learning outcomes.
Furthermore
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, young
people
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 are usually more in tune with current social and technological developments, making their
advice
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 more relevant to modern life. In conclusion,
while
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 older
people
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 can offer wisdom and moral guidance, I believe that
advice
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 from
peers
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 is often more practical and relatable for younger
generations
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, especially in today’s dynamic society.

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task achievement
To enhance your argument, consider providing a counter-argument in more depth. Discuss potential drawbacks of learning from peers and how they might also acquire valuable life lessons from older generations. This will make your essay more balanced.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is mostly well-structured, but adding more transition words and phrases could improve the flow between ideas. This would enhance the readability and coherence of your argument.
task achievement
You've presented a clear viewpoint and supported it with relevant examples, which contributes to a strong overall argument. Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your perspective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth of experience
  • historical context
  • ethical guidance
  • life skills
  • contemporary issues
  • relatable experiences
  • societal norms
  • traditional values
  • societal cohesion
  • innovative views
  • progressive views
  • intergenerational learning
  • mutual respect
  • camaraderie
  • societal unity
  • individualistic societies
  • bridging the gap
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