Some people say that what children watch influences their behavior. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behavior most. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #influences #behavior #amount #time #television

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It is often argued that

children

's behaviour is influenced by the content which they watch, while other individuals say that their behaviour is influenced more by the

time

which they spend on television. While the content which they watch on

has some drawbacks, I believe that the amount of

time

which they give programmes has more negative effects on their lives. On the one hand, there are several kinds of shows are telecasted on the

, which does not have age restrictions, so, the pupil can be badly affected by these kinds of programs

such

as drug, violence, casual sex and so. They can do some wrong activity due to the impact of

this

Moreover

, advertisements are more common nowadays on Television channels, they persuade juvenile towards expensive things or gadgets,

consequently

children

irritate their parents to buy that kind of luxurious things.

For instance

, an article published by "Hindustan Times" showed that most broadcasters in India use advertisements to target juveniles to enhance their product sale.

On the other hand

, these days there is a lot of

time

spent by

children

, which has several demerits for their health as well as their productivity.

Firstly

, there are many kinds of UV rays that are released from the

, which has detrimental effects on their eyesight and they have to use specs in their earlier days of childhood.

Furthermore

, when they watch screen they have to follow a sedentary lifestyle, which can affect badly their posture and they have to face spinal problems.

For example

, a survey conducted by students of "Mumbai University" showed that most of the pupils in Mumbai are facing spinal issues and eyes related issues due to excessive use of

Secondly

children

give

their

Change the pronoun

them

show examples

a lot of valuable

time

to television, which can be used in some useful activities

such

as studies, exercises and so on. To conclude,

although

programs that are telecasted on

are not good for

children

, In my opinion

Add a comma

show examples

time

is more important for them which they continuously waste on

and gets many detrimental effects on their lives.

Submitted by Khush Guraya on Mon Mar 08 2021

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

351 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

influence
behavior
television
content
violent
inappropriate
aggressive
attitudes
imitate
actions
language
amount
time
screen time
sedentary
obesity
academic performance
exposure
social interactions
creativity
monitor
control
caregivers
parents
limit
engage
activities
opinion

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