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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centers provide the best care. Discuss both views.

#families #parents #members #grandparents #care #children #childcare #centers
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In modern society, most parents are both working and need someone who can
care
 for their
children
. Some argue that family members provide the best
care
 and others believe childcare centers are more effective than relying on grandparents.
This
 essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, there are several reasons why having grandparents take
care
 of their grandchild is considered a great idea.
Firstly
, grandparents have prior experience in parenting, so they will take good
care
 of your
children
 unconditionally with love and attention.
Secondly
, it is more affordable to ask family for help than to ask a stranger or from a child
care
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. Most of the family members do not demand a paycheck to look after
children
, unlike the caretaker from daycare.
As a result
, you can save up the money for your kid’s future.
On the other hand
, daycares
also
 have some benefits.
Initially
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childcare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are equipped with infrastructure to facilitate
children
’s development.
For instance
, a playground where the
children
 can participate in physical activities both with their peers and teachers, who can teach them interesting lessons about the world.
In addition
, by immersing themselves in the outside world early, their interpersonal skills will be enhanced significantly. It will build up their confidence and empathy which will assist them in their future lives. In short,
although
 some opine that
children
 who are being looked after by relatives have some benefits, some argue that
children
’s growth should be exposed to unfamiliar environments as early as possible.
Submitted by hilmi.santiago.alif on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the discussion points and establishes a foundation for both views.
logical structure
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to structure your essay and improve the logical flow between ideas.
supported main points
Develop your main points with specific examples to provide a more detailed and convincing argument.
complete response
Expand on both views equally, ensuring that you fully develop each side of the argument for a more balanced discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expressing ideas in a clearer, more precise manner, using a more sophisticated range of vocabulary and sentence structures.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more detailed, relevant examples to illustrate and support each point of view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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