Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school?

These days,
parents
give their children extra
classes
after school curriculum and at the weekends. Personally, I think that organizing after-school
classes
is a hard and stressful experience for
kids
,
however
, it can be useful for
kids
' future. In the paragraphs underneath,
this
essay shall see my thoughts about the topic.
To begin
with, there are several reasons why I argue with the following point of view.
Firstly
, it is stressful for a
child
who studies a lot during faculty time and extra grades will be excessive.
Kids
cannot cope with these difficulties and receive given information.
For example
, the minor, who studies at the academy for 6 hours, takes extra lessons. His brain could not physically accept that date.
Secondly
, additional lessons take the offspring's leisure time which should be spent on the
child
's interests. To illustrate, a minor wants to play with his peers, but his
parents
control his schedule.
As a result
, the
child
stays lonely and is an introvert.
On the contrary
,
parents
want
that
Correct word choice
apply
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their
kids
receive
Fix the infinitive
to receive
show examples
all
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
and be well-educated. They believe that complementary
classes
are beneficial and it is
Add an article
a
show examples
worthwhile thing. To give an instance, a young worker, who studied hard at school and institutions, will be employed. It means that
parents
could provide a job for their son.
Furthermore
, today, we do not have pre-built paths for careers
such
as engineering is for guys, and art is for girls. After globalisation, there are opened a lot of new professions for people and they need to choose suitable ones.
Therefore
,
kids
should learn in a multi-educational system. So,
parents
send them to find their own interests and hobbies. In conclusion,
this
essay argues that taking extra
classes
after school is worthwhile. In my view, it is beneficial for the
child
, but, his schedule for the day should not be fulfilled.
Submitted by 29th of april on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the writer's position on the topic and provides an overview of the points that will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Expand on the reasons and evidence for both sides of the argument, and ensure that each point is supported with clear and specific examples.
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