The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centers. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is noted that the young today spend a large amount of their leisure
time
in shopping centers
. Parents fear that Change the spelling
centres
this
can bring negative
influence on the youth and Correct article usage
a negative
the
society. I strongly agree Correct article usage
apply
to
Change preposition
with
this
notion and I will put forward my views in the following paragraphs.
It is a generally accepted thought that the youths
are the corner stone
of Correct your spelling
cornerstone
a
society, they are the future generation that Remove the article
apply
shape
a modern community Change the verb form
shapes
besides
that the development of a country is based on how good it can raise its youths
. When the younger ones spend more time
in shopping malls
, they are wasting their time
wandering around the place without any particular thooughts
or aims. Correct your spelling
thoughts
thought
For example
, when a youth spends more time
in malls
rather than spending the time
for education or extra caricular
activities, it will hinder their brain development.
Correct your spelling
curricular
Moreover
shopping Add a comma
,Moreover
malls
are a place where large
number of people from different backgrounds and Change the article
a large
the large
intrests
meets. The young ones might be vulnerable in Correct your spelling
interests
such
a situation as they are not properly trained to avoid such
toxic individuals. Another thing that can affect them are
the Change the verb form
is
food
that are
available in shopping Change the verb form
is
malls
. In a shopping mall for
example, the main attraction for the Add the comma(s)
,for
youths
are
the Change the verb form
is
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
food
joints. These food
items will affect their taste for eating healthy food
and affect their health.
To summarize the above paraghraphs
, I can strongly agree that Correct your spelling
paragraphs
paragraph
youths
spending more time
in a shopping mall will bring negative influence on themselves and society.Submitted by neethuchackochan on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite