Some people believe that children should stay at school until 18 years old. However, other people believe they should be allowed to leave school for age of 14. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of mandatory schooling.
While
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some people believe that pupils should be allowed to leave
school
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at the age of 14, I would argue that
children
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should stay at
school
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until year 12 because of education and qualifications. I will explain my reasons in
this
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essay. There is no doubt that
children
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should be allowed to leave
school
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until the age of 14 so that they can get a job faster.
This
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is because pupils can not afford their money for higher education, and they can decide to leave
school
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and look for a job to support themselves and their families.
For example
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, the rural areas in India, some
children
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have to leave
school
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before they
graduate
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from high
school
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, and they can have a job to earn money and support their finances.
As a result
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, higher schooling requires various money to spend and not everyone can afford it.
However
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, it is worth pointing out that
children
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should stay at
school
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until they
graduate
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from high
school
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.
This
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is based on the fact that education until high
school
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are generally basic schooling that can provide certainly jobs and universities require.
For instance
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,
Chulalongkorn
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at Chulalongkorn
show examples
University in Thailand, there is required for students who must
graduate
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in year 12 if they would like to study at
this
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university.
Consequently
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, a high
school
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degree opens the door to universities and opportunities at work in the future. In conclusion, we can observe that some
children
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should be allowed to leave
school
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until the age of 14 so that they can look after themselves and their families financially.
Overall
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, I firmly believe that it is a better way for
children
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to continue studying until they
graduate
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at yea

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task achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear conclusion. It appears your essay was cut off before fully concluding your thoughts. A conclusion should summarize your main points and clearly state your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Keep your essay well-organized. Use clear paragraphing and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your introduction to more clearly state the essay's topic and hint at your opinion. This helps set up your essay's structure and provides a clearer guide for the reader.
task achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument comprehensively before stating your conclusion. While you've provided some contrast between the views, ensuring balance and thorough exploration of each side enhances your argument's strength.
task achievement
You’ve provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay flows well, with logical progression from one idea to the next, which makes it easy to follow.
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