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Writing Samples
Band 4

Today more and more people are overweight than before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this. What are main affects of this epidemic.

#people #epidemic
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Nowadays the number of
people
Use synonyms
 struggling with obesity becomes more and more. There are several factors that cause
this
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 issue.
This
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 essay will explain the reasons and describe the negative effect on those who are suffering from being overweight. The
first
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 reason which causes
people
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 gaining more weight is
food
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, especially, fast
food
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.
People
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 these days like to order or buy fast
food
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 more than entering the restaurant because it costs cheaper and saves time.
Moreover
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, the promotion of
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
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 chain is tempting for customers to repurchase.
For example
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, when fast
food
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 gives customers a good discount or free drink for the
next
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 purchase most
people
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 think they should not miss a good deal so they come back and buy it again.
This
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 marketing works so well. Another reason is poverty.
People
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work
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 harder and do not have time enough to
work
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 out and some already tired at the end of the day. And the gym is not affordable for everyone. So they have to eat whatever that they could buy no matter it has good nutrition or not.
This
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 pandemic causes various negative effects
such
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 as health, self-esteem, body shaming and
work
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 performance. Obese
people
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 may struggle with other diseases like diabetes or cardiovascular disease. And They feel fatigued easier than normal
people
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 which lead them to
work
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 slowly and inefficiency than before.
Also
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,
people
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 who are overweight might not feel confident with their body and get bullying by others.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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