IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #curfew #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
A
curfew
 is a common precaution put in place by governments nationwide to avoid firing up the intensity of any nationwide disturbance. Many times, these curfews have a guideline that
teenagers
 are only allowed to be out of doors after
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 time at
night
 when
accompained
Correct your spelling
accompanied
 by a parent or a guardian. I believe that
this
 guideline is very crucial for
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 of young children and their safety.
Firstly
, an imposed
curfew
 sends an alert that the social situation in the imposed community is very delicate and it would be dangerous to be walking around at
night
, especially after the restricted hours.
Teenagers
, particularly, are vulnerable to safety when unguided by adults during
such
 situations.
A news
Remove the article
News
A piece of news
show examples
 that raged the internet a
couple
Add the preposition
ofcouple
show examples
 months ago about a lone kid being shot by a mob sometime after twilight can be a perfect example for understanding how unsafe a teenager can be when left by themselves in these danger-prone areas.
Therefore
, it is important that these kids stay indoors unless
accompained
Correct your spelling
accompanied
 by their parents or guardians during restricted
curfew
 hours. On the other side, curfews can be laid by governments for curbing the
deteriotation
Correct your spelling
deterioration
 of young kids health. There are rising cases of drug usage in
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 population in recent times in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
, particularly
dur
Correct your spelling
due
 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
night
 partying culture. It is important to sustain these type of scenarios by imposing curfews in and around areas which are popular for
night
Add an article
a night
show examples
partying
Change the form of the verb
party
show examples
. Only by taking these strict actions, we can help in keeping
teenagers
' health in place and help them grow to be responsible citizens. In conclusion, I believe and support the idea that
teenagers
 should be allowed to step out of their homes if and only if an adult is alongside them during
curfew
 nights after restricted hours. These restrictions will ultimately be beneficial for them, keeping them safe and healthy.
Submitted by pobbati.amrutha93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enforce
  • juvenile
  • repercussions
  • autonomy
  • adolescence
  • paternalistic
  • delinquency
  • municipality
  • ordinance
  • authoritarian
  • peer pressure
  • social dynamics
  • civil liberties
  • community policing
  • preventative measures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: