IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that a country should produce food locally, while others believe that it is good to import food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

#people #country #food #import
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It is argued that the government should give preference to local
food
Use synonyms
 producers,
whereas
Linking Words
 a number of people insist that importing
food
Use synonyms
 is much more beneficial. To the best of my knowledge, consuming local
food
Use synonyms
 is likely to possess essential advantages for the state. To commence with, the encouraging local
food
Use synonyms
 industry may definitely contribute to the
developing
Replace the word
development
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 of a state’s economy. Providing the farms or
food
Use synonyms
 factories expanded,
then
Linking Words
 these fields would pay more taxes to the state.
Hence
Linking Words
, the revenues of the country would increase noticeably and it will influence positively the quality of life. The most salient example is the government of Spain, which has encouraged its
Use synonyms
food-producing
Correct your spelling
food production
show examples
 during the
last
Linking Words
 decade, and,
therefore
Linking Words
, has experienced more than 15% economic growth. Apart from the aforementioned argument, there
exist
Change the verb form
exists
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 another vivid reason for avoiding
import
Wrong verb form
importing
show examples
 products. The cause lies behind the suspicious foreign producers. The victims of
such
Linking Words
 companies more often than not become impoverished nations. Nobody would deny, that these countries sometimes import unhealthy or, even dangerous
food
Use synonyms
, because of its lower cost,
thus
Linking Words
 threatening the health of the nation.
Consequently
Linking Words
, producing local
food
Use synonyms
 might be safer. To illustrate,
according to
Linking Words
 the recent research of one of the social organizations in Armenia, the majority of diseases during the
last
Linking Words
 two years in the state
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been caused by the import of fruit and vegetables.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the positive outcomes of local
Use synonyms
food-producing
Correct your spelling
food production
show examples
 are likely to be crucial,
whereas
Linking Words
 importing foreign products may create some essential problems for the country.
Submitted by shushan.basoyan on

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task response
Well done on providing relevant examples to support your arguments. Make sure to address the prompt more directly by clearly stating your opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each body paragraph discusses one main point and transitions smoothly to the next.
task response
Providing specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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