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Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #events #waste #money #celebrations #role #lives #individuals #society
Many
people
 think that having parties to celebrate important moments
such
 as graduating or getting married is the same as throwing
money
 away while others believe that these
celebrations
 are extremely important.
This
 essay discusses both these views and
then
 I will give my own opinion which is that spending a lot of
money
 on
celebrations
 is a waste of
money
. On one hand, spending
money
 on
celebrations
 can be a waste of resources.
Firstly
, these special parties usually cost a fortune since individuals have to rent a place, hire a band and catering services but only
last
 for a few hours,
consequently
,
people
 will never see all that
money
 again so it should not
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
 as an investment.
Additionally
, the budget spent on it could certainly be better used on something that has more value like buying a car, investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
’s business or even travelling. To illustrate, many young
people
 in Brazil nowadays are not putting their
money
 on big
celebrations
 when they get married and save
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
 to spend in their new homes.
On the other hand
, there are those who believe it is important to have something to mark important events.
People
 feel that these
celebrations
 can be the point where they are rewarded for all the effort they made so far and give them
determination
Change the article
the determination
show examples
 to keep moving forward and going after their dreams.
Moreover
, parties are
also
 a moment to share their achievements with friends and family creating memories of the most important events
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their lives which they will never forget and can always look back through the photographs and videos from that unforgettable day. In conclusion, both sides have their merits,
however
, in my opinion, spending a huge amount of
money
 on a celebration is a total waste of
money
 since the entertainment only lasts for a few hours and
this
money
 could be spent on more essential things
such
 as acquiring a house.
Submitted by eduardamallmann on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • lavish parties
  • essential expenditures
  • financial stress
  • lasting memories
  • social bonds
  • emotional support
  • familial and social ties
  • mental health
  • community cohesion
  • cultural heritage
  • sense of identity
  • traditional practices
  • sense of belonging
  • continuity
  • unique cultural aspects
  • personal well-being
  • routine
  • life satisfaction
  • reasonable budget
  • cost-effective
  • potluck parties
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