IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Smacking children is the best way to discipline children. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#children #discipline
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that corporal punishment is a good practice to teach
minors
. A number of
parents
 preferred physical beating to instil
discipline
 in pupils so that they will grow to be good and God-fearing persons.
This
 essay will argue why physical beating is entirely not the best form to
discipline
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minors
. Nowadays,
parents
 believe that inflicting physical pain is the best form to regulate youngsters to correct their behaviours because they are at their formative years and it’s the best time to teach them by showing the consequences if they do wrong.
Furthermore
,
this
 will likely serve as a deterrent for them not to go against the rules. Indeed, pupils with military
parents
 are likely to grow with stricter upbringing because of the influences of their fathers and mothers,
moreover
 others w/o
this
 background
also
 do
this
 kind of raising their young ones because they believed that smacking them is a good way to control them.
For instance
, when a mother taps the back of the hand of her child when he or she misbehaves or being rude. Overall, some
parents
 believe that punishing them physically is an effective manner of moulding the behaviours of their offsprings to become better persons as they grow.
In contrast
, some
parents
 preferred non-physical sanction as the best approach to control their youngsters because they believed that talking to them firmly and setting the rules and regulations in the family, is a better approach
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 handling and teaching.
Moreover
,
minors
 who are raised in a non-violent environment become better children as they grow. And
this
 will reflect once they will have their offsprings too. Overall, spanking is not a good form of controlling
minors
 but will only have repercussions in the long run. In conclusion,
this
 essay argued why smacking is entirely not an appropriate action of disciplining
minors
 because of the bad consequences . In my opinion, Inflicting corporal
discipline
 is definitely not the best approach to instil
discipline
 in youngsters.
Submitted by carolgtadeo28 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: