IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education.To what extent do you agree?

#government #budget #arts #money #education
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Recent events of human history prove that sometimes
art
Use synonyms
 is the only weapon against never-ending sources of hatred that appear in the life of a common person dictated by the growing imbalance of capital and increase of poverty levels. Some
government
Use synonyms
 bodies in Russia believe that relocating budgets from
art
Use synonyms
 to education can positively
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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this
Linking Words
 established trend.
Such
Linking Words
 measures are counterproductive to the goal of creating a positive environment for human mentality and
thus
Linking Words
 are dictated by
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 inability
of
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 formulating the right approaches
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 social engineering. Education is thought to create a balanced society where every person has equal opportunities to achieve success by having
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 intellectual instruments and capabilities to perform
required
Correct article usage
the required
show examples
 set of tasks.
However
Linking Words
, people what to express themselves in a different way that only
art
Use synonyms
 can deliver. Without
government
Use synonyms
 support in most
cases
Add a comma
,cases
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 artists won’t be able to sustain their living or express themselves enriching other people’s lives. Education creates possibilities for a person to evolve
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
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 intellectual assets while
art
Use synonyms
 provides ways to communicate his feelings and contribute to society his beliefs through different, sometimes more compelling ways to gain traction and change other people’s lives. If the main goal of a
government
Use synonyms
 we choose is to create a balanced society where each citizen can influence the lives of others –
art
Use synonyms
 must be a vital point of its existence.
Thus
Linking Words
, decreasing the ways of supporting it is counterproductive to its main role as a social engineering body.
In other words
Linking Words
 “
Art
Use synonyms
 live matters”.
Submitted by ekaterina.kosheleva.2016 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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