IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same product anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #product #world #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
world
Use synonyms
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 constricted to a small global village.Unlike in the past,in
this
Linking Words
 modern
Use synonyms
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 each and every product is available anywhere in the universe,because of the development of technology.In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 I feel there are many advantages and disadvantages can be notable in it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both views of
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of
products
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the
world
Use synonyms
. The main positive attributes are,
firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can easily access whatever they need to eat or drink anywhere in the
world
Use synonyms
.Because many
people
Use synonyms
 are living in
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 countries and the foreigners are visiting other countries as well,so the visitors would not feel that they are out of their country.
For instance
Linking Words
,ten years back kiwi fruit was very uncommon in our fruit stalls,kiwi is a national fruit of new zeland.
However
Linking Words
 at present in all the
fruitstall
Correct your spelling
fruit stall
fruits till
 it has a special stand.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 would never face any culture shock
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
 place in the universe.Not only eatables are available all over but
also
Linking Words
 all kind
Use synonyms
products
Change preposition
of products
show examples
,including
make up
Join the words
makeup
show examples
 and cosmetic materials are abundantly available everywhere.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,it will boost up the economy of the nation.
Although
Linking Words
 there are many advantages,the negative points are
also
Linking Words
 should take it seriously.
Enviornmental
Correct your spelling
Environmental
 pollution is one of the adverse
effect
Change to a plural noun
effects
show examples
 of transporting goods from one place to another.
For example
Linking Words
,the
products
Use synonyms
 are transferring via
flght
Correct your spelling
flight
 to deliver it fast to the destination.
This
Linking Words
 process will damage our ecosystem by the excess emission of carbon dioxide
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 our atmosphere.Gradually our
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 would get highly polluted
then
Linking Words
 both human as well as, all the living species in the
world
Use synonyms
 get
disease
Add an article
the disease
a disease
show examples
.To protect the ecosystem the number of cargo flights should be reduced. To conclude,developments are crucial for the countries,
therefore
Linking Words
 the
products
Use synonyms
 should be shipped
instead
Linking Words
 of flying through the air.The government authorities should be aware of the future adverse effects
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
show examples
 happen to our ecosystem.The
people
Use synonyms
 should keep the atmosphere clean and tidy for the upcoming generation.
Submitted by margushobi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: