IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we do not need, others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #advertisements #products #lives
It is suggested by some that,
advertisements
 implores
people
 to purchase
products
 that they do not need, while others think that commercials inform us about new merchandise that may improve our lives. In my opinion, I believe that
advertisements
 are necessary because they can offer
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
products
 that can improve our daily lives . On one hand, commercials have suddenly become increasingly popular. Some
people
 think that these infomercials persuade them into buying
products
 they do not need. These days a lot of companies invest heavily in
advertisements
 as a strategy to get consumers to purchase goods from the comfort of their homes using various methods like; secure credit card payment options, applications dedicated
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 online shopping etc.These
advertisements
 have been set up in
such
 a way that, it is persuasive to the public,
therefore
people
 indulge in buying
products
 that they really have no need for, some can even go as far as exhausting the funds they do not have to satisfy their urges.
On the other hand
,
advertisements
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 made life seemingly easier for
people
 that do not have time to visit the shopping centres, they can do their necessary shopping from the comfort of their homes. These days, infomercials are quite interesting and informative and
also
 with some incentives attached to the
products
.
For example
, some companies give trial periods for testing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
products
.
In other
words
Add a comma
,words
show examples
people
 can make payment for a product of their choice, try it out for a limited time
then
 return if they become disinterested with the product plus full money back.
Furthermore
, some offer massive discounts, sales , free delivery etc. In my opinion,
although
advertisements
 can be tempting, a person can easily be implored to purchase unwanted merchandises, it is
also
 important to state that, it is very beneficial and easy especially for busy
people
 who do not have time to shop at mall or shopping centres. In conclusion,
advertisements
 have changed the way of communication between producers and their consumers because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 can now make their choice of goods from the comfort of their home while
also
 being updated to improvements and variants of the
products
 they are interested in. If the approach of restraint is applied by consumers they can avoid buying merchandise they do not need .
Submitted by ochuksemeordiblessing on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: