IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, online shopping has become more popular while some people argue in-store shopping would be better.    To what extent do you agree?

#people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the past few decades, the trend to shop online has become increasingly popular.
However
Linking Words
, some believe that in-person shopping is always the best way to shop. I completely agree with the latter view.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue why it is better to
visit
Use synonyms
 the store while shopping.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 regard the in-person shopping experience as superior to online shopping. Primarily,
this
Linking Words
 is because consumers can explore different shopping stores before purchasing any product. Like, I prefer to
visit
Use synonyms
 several shops while buying clothes for myself;
such
Linking Words
 an opportunity allows me to compare the quality, designs, and prices of the same product by visiting several stores.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, online platforms perhaps allow comparing the costs but not the quality of products.
Therefore
Linking Words
, customer satisfaction is the reason why
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to shop in malls.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, online theft is another compelling reason why
people
Use synonyms
 tend to
visit
Use synonyms
 the store. Shopping online can sometimes be risky; there are various instances recorded where
people
Use synonyms
 have suffered massive financial losses. To cite an example, my friend recently bought clothes and a bag from a famous clothing brand, and, unfortunately, she became a victim of an online scam and lost all her money from the credit card. In order to prevent
such
Linking Words
 avoidable circumstances, a growing number of
people
Use synonyms
, including me, give preference to in-store shopping. To conclude, shopping on the internet has become ubiquitous. Despite the popularity of
this
Linking Words
 culture, some
people
Use synonyms
 still prefer to
visit
Use synonyms
 the store because customer satisfaction cannot be fully attained via online shopping.
Also
Linking Words
, online frauds have discouraged consumers from placing online orders.
Submitted by MNR on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: