IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that news and media are affecting our life in a positive way while others disagree. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

#people #news #media #life
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In recent years, there has been considerable debate over whether
news
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 and
media
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 positively or negatively affect our
society
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.
While
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news
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 and
media
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 provide significant benefits,
such
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 as increasing public awareness and enhancing societal
transparency
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, they
also
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 pose challenges, including the
spread
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 of misinformation and
information
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 overload. In my opinion, we should focus on regulating the negative aspects to ensure that the positive impacts are maximized.
Firstly
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,
news
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 and
media
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 can significantly increase public knowledge and enhance societal
transparency
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. By providing up-to-date
information
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 on politics, economics, social issues, and science from around the world, people are better equipped to make informed decisions.
Additionally
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, the
media
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 plays a crucial role in holding government officials and corporations accountable, which helps improve
transparency
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 and fairness in
society
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.
For example
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, investigative journalism often exposes misconduct by corporations and government entities, forcing them to make necessary changes.
This
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 not only protects public interests but
also
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 promotes societal progress.
However
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, the negative influence of
news
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 and
media
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 cannot be ignored. The primary issue is the
spread
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 of fake
news
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 and
information
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 overload. With the rise of digital
media
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, false
news
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 and misinformation can be disseminated more easily than ever before, which may lead to public misunderstanding and panic.
For instance
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, during health crises, untrue health advice and conspiracy theories often
spread
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 widely, causing confusion and potential harm to the public. To mitigate these negative effects, we should invest more effort in monitoring
news
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 and
media
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 content and educating the public to better assess the accuracy of the
information
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 they encounter.
Additionally
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,
news
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 agencies and social
media
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 platforms should take more responsibility to ensure that the
information
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 they share is reliable. In conclusion,
news
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 and
media
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 have a dual impact on our
society
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. They can increase public knowledge and enhance societal
transparency
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, but they can
also
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 contribute to the
spread
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 of fake
news
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 and
information
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 overload. To maximize the positive influence of
news
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 and
media
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, we need stricter supervision and better education to minimize potential harm. By implementing these measures, we can ensure that
news
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 and
media
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 serve as beneficial tools for
society
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 rather than sources of chaos and misinformation.
Submitted by victure2007 on

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task achievement
Great work on structuring the essay with clear paragraphs! To push your score even higher, consider elaborating a bit more on the points with additional examples or data to give a more comprehensive view.
coherence and cohesion
While your main points are well-supported, ensure that each example directly ties back to the argument for absolute clarity. Adding transitional phrases can also help in smoothing the flow between arguments and examples for even better coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are excellently crafted, providing a clear framework for your essay. Well done!
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is very solid. Each paragraph touches upon a distinct idea and is connected to your main argument, which makes your argument easy to follow.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the prompt, addressing both sides of the argument and providing your opinion in a clear and concise manner.
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