“In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common.” Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
With the rise in technology, many
people
have started to use digital payments
instead
of paying by cash, this
has revolutionized the world as we see it, it is a much quicker and more convenient way of transaction of
Change preposition
apply
money
. This
essay will talk about how the development of digital payments
has more advantages than disadvantages.
Firstly
, digital payments
have reduced the need of keeping physical currency on you, while
also
not needing to have the exact change on you. With everything going digital, it has become hard for people
to get their money
stolen and their wallets pickpocketed. Digital payments
are also
used to send people
large amounts of money
across the world, saving both time and energy. For instance
, my father sent me a large amount of money
online for my college rather than giving it to me physically because it was less time-consuming and less risky.
Secondly
, online payments
are a great way to track your expenses as everything online has a record.
For example
, I have always used Paytm which is an online money
transaction application in India to keep track of my expenses. Furthermore
, digital payments
also
help in the development of a country since every transaction has a record, which makes it harder for people
to evade taxes.
To conclude
, I think that digital payments
have revolutionised the world and will continue to do so and while
every advantage has its own disadvantage, I believe that, the advantages of digital payment outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by satyarthverma88 on
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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, make sure that each paragraph fully develops one main idea. The second body paragraph, for instance, mentions several points but could benefit from a more detailed development of each point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every idea flows logically to the next. Sometimes, the essay jumps between points, which can disrupt the flow. Consider using more transition words and phrases to help guide the reader.
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the disadvantages of digital payments, even if you believe the advantages outweigh them. This can give your essay a more nuanced perspective.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are both well-structured and frame the essay nicely.
relevant specific examples
The essay uses relevant and specific examples to support the main points, such as how your father sent money online.
supported main points
The main points are generally well supported and provide a clear argument for the advantages of digital payments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.