Some people believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The significance of
education
has been highlighted over the past decades. From
this
aspect, some opine that
money
for
education
should mainly be spent on better
computers
, but others hold the view that
money
for
education
would be better spent on teachers.
This
essay will discuss both views and
then
my personal opinion will be suggested. It is often pointed out that
money
for
education
would be better spent on educators. Proponents of
this
argument suggest that teachers provide personalised
education
.
This
is because, unlike computer
education
, they can teach students based on their academic level and personalities when students ask
direct
Change preposition
for direct
show examples
feedback. What is more, teachers have a social responsibility.
This
obviously leads them to educate a wide range of academic knowledge and social regulations and
this
in turn
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
make
civilised
Correct article usage
a civilised
show examples
society.
Nevertheless
, some opponents insist that
money
for
education
should primarily be spent on better
computers
.
Although
the disadvantages of
computers
cannot be ignored, individuals have experienced computer’s benefits. A pertinent example of
this
is that they can be exposed to a wide range of information.
This
allows them to improve their educational knowledge.
Moreover
,
computers
can carry out remote
education
, since educational departments highly invest in online classes, the public
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
easy access to computer-based
education
including online lectures and articles, so more and more individuals who struggle with poor
education
would have high-quality
education
opportunities. To recapitulate, I believe that
money
for
education
should primarily be spent on better
computers
because individuals have experienced computer benefits that they can be exposed to a wide range of information associated with the study and
computers
can carry out remote
education
.
Thus
, each country should implement the
education
of computer utilisation for students, and
then
individuals’ educational levels will be developed.
Submitted by subin12260 on

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Task Achievement
Focus on providing a balanced discussion for both views before concluding with your opinion to strengthen task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of linking words to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific examples to support your arguments more effectively. Real-world examples add depth and clarity.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, outlining both views and your stance clearly.
Logical Structure
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphs for each view and your opinion.
Conclusion
You successfully concluded the essay by reiterating your stance, summarizing the discussion effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interactive learning
  • tailored education
  • adaptive learning programs
  • distance learning
  • qualified teachers
  • immediate feedback
  • teaching methods
  • learning styles
  • social skills
  • balanced investment
  • modernize education
  • educational needs
  • emotional intelligence
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