Some people believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The significance of
education
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has been highlighted over the past decades. From
this
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aspect, some opine that
money
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for
education
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should mainly be spent on better
computers
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, but others hold the view that
money
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for
education
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would be better spent on teachers.
This
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essay will discuss both views and
then
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my personal opinion will be suggested. It is often pointed out that
money
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for
education
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would be better spent on educators. Proponents of
this
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argument suggest that teachers provide personalised
education
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.
This
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is because, unlike computer
education
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, they can teach students based on their academic level and personalities when students ask
direct
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for direct
show examples
feedback. What is more, teachers have a social responsibility.
This
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obviously leads them to educate a wide range of academic knowledge and social regulations and
this
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in turn
allow
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allows
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to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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make
civilised
Correct article usage
a civilised
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society.
Nevertheless
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, some opponents insist that
money
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for
education
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should primarily be spent on better
computers
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.
Although
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the disadvantages of
computers
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cannot be ignored, individuals have experienced computer’s benefits. A pertinent example of
this
Linking Words
is that they can be exposed to a wide range of information.
This
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allows them to improve their educational knowledge.
Moreover
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,
computers
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can carry out remote
education
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, since educational departments highly invest in online classes, the public
have
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has
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easy access to computer-based
education
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including online lectures and articles, so more and more individuals who struggle with poor
education
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would have high-quality
education
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opportunities. To recapitulate, I believe that
money
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for
education
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should primarily be spent on better
computers
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because individuals have experienced computer benefits that they can be exposed to a wide range of information associated with the study and
computers
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can carry out remote
education
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.
Thus
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, each country should implement the
education
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of computer utilisation for students, and
then
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individuals’ educational levels will be developed.
Submitted by subin12260 on

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Task Achievement
Focus on providing a balanced discussion for both views before concluding with your opinion to strengthen task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of linking words to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific examples to support your arguments more effectively. Real-world examples add depth and clarity.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, outlining both views and your stance clearly.
Logical Structure
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphs for each view and your opinion.
Conclusion
You successfully concluded the essay by reiterating your stance, summarizing the discussion effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interactive learning
  • tailored education
  • adaptive learning programs
  • distance learning
  • qualified teachers
  • immediate feedback
  • teaching methods
  • learning styles
  • social skills
  • balanced investment
  • modernize education
  • educational needs
  • emotional intelligence
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