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Writing Samples
Band 5

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do agree or disagree?

#meat #diet
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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years,
vegetarian
Add an article
the vegetarian
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 has become a phenomenon among
people
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 in the world.
Although
Linking Words
non-meat
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a non-meat
the non-meat
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 diet provides many nutrients for a healthy lifestyle. I believe
not
Add a pronoun
that not
show examples
 everyone should follow
this
Linking Words
 trend. On the one hand, there are many benefits
of
Verify preposition usage
to
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 being vegetarian.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are many nutrients in
vegetables
Use synonyms
 to help keep
Use synonyms
body
Add an article
the body
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 fit. It helps reduce
Cholesterol
Correct your spelling
cholesterol
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 in the
body
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.
Vegetables
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 and fruits contain Fiber, vitamins and low fatty acid.
Thus
Linking Words
, fasting helps
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body
Add an article
the body
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 to limit the absorption of fat more than eating meat,
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 who
wants
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want
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 to lose weight often choose diets high in green
vegetables
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
diet
Add an article
a diet
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 without meat helps you prevent many diseases
such
Linking Words
 as sick
about
Change preposition
from
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 the cardiovascular system, cancer or
fattigue
Correct your spelling
fatigue
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Oranges contain vitamins C that
are
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is
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 highly beneficial for
Add an article
the aging
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aging
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ageing
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 compartment and the immune system.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many
people
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 who need meat with their meals. Actually, if
people
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 only eat
vegetables
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, children and
elder
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the elder
an elder
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 will not
heve
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have
 enough
nutrion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
. Because
,
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apply
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 there are many nutrients found only in meats
ang
Correct your spelling
and
 fishes.
For example
Linking Words
, Carp contains a lot of protein, Iron, Zinc, Vitamins B12,…but not in
vegetables
Use synonyms
.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that, not only eating
vegetables
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 helps
people
Use synonyms
 have
beautiful
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a beautiful
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body
Use synonyms
. They need to have a reasonable diet combining regular exercise.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
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 to lose weight can eat chicken breast combined with play sports. To sum up, while I agree that becoming vegetarian can helps
people
Use synonyms
 have
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 feeling of well-being. But it not good for everyone.
Submitted by minanguyen1211 on

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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