Some opine that individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. They think that we must return to older and more traditional values such as respect for the elderly people and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people argue that modern
society
is driven by individual greed and selfishness, which they believe have led to social and moral decline. These critics suggest that returning to traditional
values
,
such
as respect for the elderly and a stronger sense of community, could improve the world.
While
I acknowledge that some aspects of modern
society
promote self-interest, I believe that a complete return to older
values
is not a realistic solution. The idea that returning entirely to traditional
values
will improve
society
overlooks the fact that modern advancements have fostered many positive changes.
For instance
, individualism has enabled personal freedom, innovation, and the empowerment of marginalized groups. Women and minorities now have more opportunities than in the past, where traditional norms often did limit their roles in
society
in the past. Another reason why a complete return to traditional
values
is impractical is the changing nature of modern
society
’s economic and social structures. In the past, communities were more tightly knit, and people often lived in the same place for most of their lives, which made traditional
values
more relevant.
However
, in today’s globalised world, individuals are more mobile and more likely to seek opportunities far from their hometowns.
This
has led to a more diverse and dynamic
society
where individual ambitions and career aspirations often take precedence over older
values
such
as community-based living or generational co-dependence. Expecting modern individuals to fully embrace traditional
values
in
such
a fluid and fast-paced environment is unrealistic and could hinder personal and professional growth. In conclusion,
while
certain traditional
values
like respect for elders and community responsibility could help address some of the issues facing modern
society
, a complete return to these
values
is neither feasible nor desirable.
Submitted by ruchin27 on

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task achievement
Expand on how modern society can incorporate valuable aspects of both traditional and contemporary values for a balanced approach.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate how traditional values can be integrated into modern society without regressing.
coherence and cohesion
Try to explore more possible counterarguments to further enhance the depth of the essay's analysis.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-structured argument against a complete return to traditional values, acknowledging both sides of the debate.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas flow logically throughout the essay, ensuring clear progression and connectivity from introduction to conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Clear and comprehensive articulation of how modern advancements have benefitted society.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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