Some opine that individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. They think that we must return to older and more traditional values such as respect for the elderly people and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the era of modernization, some

people

Use synonyms

think that greediness and selfishness have been the most common things in modern society.

However

Linking Words

, they believe that individual must go back to their older traditional values for a better life

Change preposition

for

show examples

everyone. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

viewpoint and will describe my reasons with related examples in the following essay.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are several reasons that can be considered to support

this

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thought. First and foremost, in recent years,

due to

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competition in the world,

people

Use synonyms

become more self-centred and greedy.

Therefore

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, it is very essential for them to understand and adapt old traditional beliefs for the betterment of their lives.

For instance

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, youngsters have to spend some quality time with their grandparents and learn values regarding how to respect elderly

people

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

how to behave with individuals in the community.

Moreover

Linking Words

, another reason that we cannot ignore is that by getting knowledge about historical beliefs one can create good and trustable relationships with each other, which can be beneficial for everyone during happy or

sorrow

Replace the word

sorrowful

show examples

moments. To illustrate, in

this

Linking Words

individualism era, one should have to know their family's needs and provide support to their loved ones financially, mentally, and physically without having any kind of ego.

To conclude

Linking Words

, continuing to follow older and more traditional values is extremely vital for individuals for a strong bond with

people

Use synonyms

and

maintaining

Wrong verb form

maintain

show examples

humanity in society

instead

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of being egoistic and greedy.

Also

Linking Words

, it can connect humans with their culture.

ruchin27Sat Dec 21 2024

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task achievement

Elaborate on your ideas with more supporting arguments to strengthen your points.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure clearer links between sentences and ideas to enhance the flow of the essay.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your agreement with the viewpoint, which sets a good tone for the essay.

task achievement

You have provided relevant examples, especially regarding family values and relationships, which support your arguments well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Fully explain your ideas

This is my IELTS essay question: Some people think adults should give children freedom to make mistakes. Others think adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience

some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

You have recently moved to a new house. There has been damage after you have moved into the house. write a letter to your landlord explaining what has happened and ask him what you can do.