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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that only some species should be protected. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
It is an ongoing debate that most consider that protecting fauna is crucial,
while
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 others' opinions are that only some types of
animals
Use synonyms
 deserve protection.
Although
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 government bodies should preserve special
animals
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 because of limited resources, I believe that all
animals
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 in
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
 have their own significant roles to maintain balance in the environment.
Body paragraph 1
There is finite funding that should be allocated for endangered or important
animals
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. For
instances
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instance
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, one of the threatened
species
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 is the blue parrot that eats several insects , which negatively impacts plants.
Moreover
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, bees are well-known for their ecological roles as pollinators. Most flowers depend on these
species
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, thereby making their fruits.
In addition
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, preserving all wildlife is unnecessary because some
species
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 are harmful to human well-being and the agricultural sector. An amount of money should be spent
according to
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 their numbers and roles in nature.
Body paragraph 2
Despite these arguments, the protection of all creatures in wildlife is significant. Because every
species
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 has its own role in the environment. If one animal disappears, it would have a negative effect on the food chain, threatening others life.
For example
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, wolves, one of the carnivorous predators, consume with dears. These herbivores increase rapidly when the number of wolves decreases.
As a result
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, forests and green plants would be damaged. So, conserving predators keeps ecology in balance.
In addition
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, an abundance of varieties of
species
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 helps the environment become healthy and stable.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, it is vital to preserve all creatures to prevent nature’s imbalance,
although
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 there are limited resources for all wildlife.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why limited money means some animals may need to come first. Then show why this should not mean that other animals are left with no help.
task response
Your main idea is good: all wild animals help keep nature in balance. Add one more clear point, such as animals having value even when people do not yet know their use.
task response
Use examples that are clear and correct. The blue parrot example is not fully explained, and the wolf example has an error. Say that wolves eat deer, not that they consume with deer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion. Keep this plan, but make the first body paragraph focus only on the view that some animals should be protected first.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas more smoothly. Do not begin a full sentence with “Because”. Join it to the sentence before it: “Protection is important because every species has a role in the environment.”
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph. For example: “Some people think that money should go first to animals that are in danger.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “role,” “environment,” and “balance” too often. You can use simple other words such as “place in nature,” “natural world,” and “healthy system.”
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you present both views and state your own opinion clearly.
task response
The bee and wolf ideas are useful examples because they show how animals can affect plants and other animals.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly shows the two views and your own position.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion returns to your main view and ends the essay clearly.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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