Schools should teach children some academic subjects which will be beneficial to their future careers. Therefore, other subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is suggested that
music
and
sports
are not relevant
subjects
,
therefore
schools should educate children on some academic courses that will be advantageous in their future careers. I disagree with
this
viewpoint as I believe that arts and
sports
creates an avenue for
self expression
Add a hyphen
self-expression
show examples
and may
also
create better opportunities for the children in the future.
Firstly
, arts and sporting activities are a major component of
a
Change the article
an
show examples
active child's life.
These
Change the determiner
This
show examples
subject creates a safe space of
self expression
Add a hyphen
self-expression
show examples
and development.
For instance
, as a former child myself, I can boldly say that
music
and athletics saved me. The characteristics that I exhibit today, happened
as a result
of training on the field with my classmates, getting in teenage squabbles and finding solutions
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
that moment because during competitions we had to band together.
Music
also
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
us the freedom to express our emotions
deal
Add the particle
to deal
show examples
with personal issues through the various lessons about musicals and how they came about.
Therefore
,
music
is essential because it is truly
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
medicine for the soul.
Secondly
,
music
and
sports
are
subjects
that require either talent, skill or
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
. The option of these
subjects
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
needed in schools because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some students have various strengths and weaknesses . A clear example would be, basketball stars.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
of them have stated that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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they struggled academically
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, they
where
Replace the word
were
show examples
able to discover their talent
such
as athleticism before they streamlined it to basketball which has not only made them famous and influential people but
also
wealthy.
Therefore
, if the option of
sports
were made unavailable at their schools, it would have been very difficult for them to achieve any goals set for themselves to becoming upright and outstanding members of society. In conclusion,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
, academic
subjects
are important,
music
and
sports
are relevant as well because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they give an average or struggling student a chance at a bright future.
Therefore
, scrapping it from the school curriculum would do not good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
either the kids or society.
Submitted by ochuksemeordiblessing on

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