At the present time, the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, the number of
youths
in some societies are relatively higher than that
of senior citizens. I believe the benefits of creating new innovations Change the determiner
those
is
more important compared to any disadvantage it might bring.
Despite the drawbacks below, I consider having more young people in a country beneficial. one of the upsides of having more Change the verb form
are
youths
in some societies is that there will be new innovations. In other words
, young adults
might explore their environments and available materials, which may lead to mind-blowing outcomes that could change the world. For instance
, Facebook was discovered by a twenty-year old
student Add a hyphen
twenty-year-old
of
Oxford University. He was trying to experiment with infrared before the idea of connecting peopleVerify preposition usage
at
in the same way
struck his mind. Add the comma(s)
, in the same way,
Therefore
, more youths
means
more innovative ideas for the nation.
Admittedly, there are some issues involved when there are more Change the verb form
mean
youths
in a
society. Remove the article
apply
one
potentially dangerous drawback of having more young Add an article
the one
a one
adults
in some countries is that they lack experience. That is
they are deficient in carrying out basic chores because they do not understand how it is done. Moreover
, they lack efficiency in doing things. For example
, Employers prefer to employ experienced adults
due to the fact that inexperienced youths
could be detrimental to the
organizational goals. So, deficiency in experience is fetal when there are more Remove the article
apply
youths
compared with senior citizens.
In conclusion, having youths
explore their environment and innovate things clearly outweighs any downside that could result from young adults
being more in a
society.Remove the article
apply
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite