IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In the past important knowledge of culture and history was stored in museum Nowadays information is freely available on internet therefore is no longer need for museum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#culture #history #museum #information #internet
The knowledge of culture and history has come
until
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apply
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from the past to the future and those are protected in
museums
. Even though ıt is available about the information due to internet development, they are preserved in building
therefore
, they are not necessary. I agree with
this
 statement.
One
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On
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 the one hand, there are an array of benefits keeping the
museums
 as cultural and financial. Primarily, some building
have
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has
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 a cost of entering. Put simply, when a tourist having cultural value can visit
this
 area, it supports the
government
's treasury.
Secondly
, the building
show
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shows
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 the cultural level of the country.
That is
, some countries have a long history and they have a
lot
 of opuses.
Moreover
, the more the number of qualified people increases, the more the rate of development can be seen thanks to these
museums
. Take some countries as a clear example; to be used these areas means not only that the states obtain money here a
lot
 but
also
 it helps the citizens develop.
On the other hand
, other people believe that keeping them makes up a negative phenomenon in terms of environment and
government
 and financial.
To begin
 with, the
museums
 are located in the big field. Hadn’t the building been located, entertainment areas would have been built
such
 as malls and funfairs for the residents. Equally importantly, the possibility of stolen
of
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from
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 the opuses will be eliminated. There are a
lot
 of historical
artifact
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artefact
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 smugglers. Since those earn money by selling these, most of the knowledge gets lost. In
this
 way, the information can be stored at another location.
Lastly
, there will be no financial losses because the areas have a
lot
 of workers and the
government
 has to pay a salary for them. when they make be closed, the
government
 will not have lost money. By way of conclusion, I support that the building
do
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does
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 away with because
this
 benefits more things.
Submitted by Ahmet Münir KOCAMAN on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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