Many countries spend large amounts of money on preparing competitors for major world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead, this money can be spent on encouraging children to take up sports at a young age.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that a number of nations spend ample amounts of
money
on players to prepare them for international-level competitions like
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games and the football World Cup.
However
, others say that
this
money
can be used to motivate children at an early age to participate in
sports
.I firmly believe that the government should spend equally on both of them.
To begin
with, spending
money
on players and making them compete in games can attract visitors to come and watch them play.
Further
, the host country can
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit economically all thanks to tourism.
Moreover
, the nation can get fame and be well known for preparing good players.
For example
, people around the world know
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, Japan and Jamaica very well, as they have played and won many medals in
Paris
Correct article usage
the Paris
show examples
Olympics Games 2024.
On the other hand
, I personally believe that the government should spend
money
to motivate youth to participate in
sports
. As children can be stressed from the school work. They can release their stress by taking over any game or
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
as a hobby after school.
This
can
further
make them physically and mentally fit.
Second,
young children can learn collaboration from an early age by getting involved in outdoor activities.
For example
, they can make new friends by going out and playing with other kids.
Additionally
,
this
can improve their communication and social skills.
To conclude
, several countries are spending
money
preparing youth for world-class competitions as it can enhance
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
wealth and reputation, which people believe should be spent towards improving young ones physical and mental health by motivating them to engage in
sports
. I firmly believe that
this
can be done for both of them.
Submitted by jotdhanju2 on

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task achievement
Expand slightly on how funding sports for children benefits society as a whole to further strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Provide more examples or data to reinforce your points about the benefits of investing in both international sports events and youth sports.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, perhaps by adding transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Refine the placement of examples to seamlessly fit into the paragraph's point, thereby maintaining clarity.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic, considering both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and a strong conclusion that reiterates your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your use of examples, like the mention of the Paris Olympics Games 2024, adds credibility to your points.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • grassroots sports
  • lifelong love for physical activity
  • physical well-being
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • nurture potential talent
  • healthier societies
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • national pride
  • unity
  • economic boost
  • global recognition
  • balanced approach
  • elite sports
  • funding
  • long-term benefits
  • exposure to sports
  • youth sports
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