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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that children given pocket money every week will have lesser money problems when they become adults. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #pocket #money #week #adults
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Providing
children
 with pocket
money
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 most common practice of the
last
 decades. Some parents support
this
 behaviour and believe
that is
 beneficial. I partly agree with
this
 statement and explain the reasons below in
this
 essay. On the one hand, there are some noticeable benefits of providing
children
 with pocket
money
.
Firstly
, spending
money
 from their school years help them to gain early financial habits. They learn how to divide and spend
money
 on their needs. Early financial skills guarantee
children
 to understand their expenses in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 years and avoid unnecessary spendings.
Secondly
, having weekly pocket
money
 is the chance for school
children
 to save
money
 and establish their personal fundings. Some kids have a strong desire to buy something valuable and for
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 they are ready to collect
money
 and establish
this
 funding.
On the other hand
, there are some negative consequences of
this
 approach as well. Unfortunately, not all kids are smart enough to manage their expenses in a good way. They could spend
this
cash
 immediately and disadvantageous,
such
 as
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 bad habits or fast food. To avoid
this
 kind of negative spendings the only way is to limit their weekly supply with
cash
.
Furthermore
, having access to easily obtained
money
 might have some confusions. It can affect their thinking about
money
. To be more clear, having access to
cash
 might bring the thought that
money
 is the most important thing with which he can buy anything To conclude, weekly
cash
 allowances to
children
 is a positive approach with some negative consequences and parents should be aware of them and support their child with continuous information to avoid these negatives. With some little
support
Add a comma
,support
show examples
children
 will learn from
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
 age and develop
cash
 management skill which leads to minimal financial issues in adult life
Submitted by vafaali91 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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