IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent years, fast-
food
Use synonyms
 culture has led to an increase in health-related problems. Whilst some argue that reducing diet-related illness should be a personal responsibility, others contend that governments should tackle
this
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 trend by imposing substantial taxes on unhealthy
food
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 in order to reduce consumption. I firmly agree with the latter viewpoint and will explain my position.
To begin
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 with, people purchase fast
food
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 on a daily basis because it offers convenience and affordability.
This
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 means that if authorities impose taxes, many people, especially low-income groups, will find it harder to afford these items.
Therefore
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, lower consumption could considerably reduce the burden on healthcare services, which are mostly used to treat diseases related to junk
food
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.
For instance
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, a 2023 study in France showed that a 76% decline in the total consumption of junk
food
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 occurred after the government introduced a higher tax on every restaurant.
Furthermore
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, when residents know they will have to pay extra money in exchange for eating nutritionally deficient
food
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, it makes people feel it is not worth it, and they will, in turn, avoid continuing
this
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 harmful lifestyle. Preventing diseases,
such
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 as hypertension, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases, is significantly cheaper than treating them, and it lowers the strain on healthcare institutions as well.
For example
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, Japanese citizens are among the world's healthiest partly because they consume less fast
food
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that is
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 high in harmful substances, including sugar, salt, and saturated fats, a pattern supported in part by government-enacted taxation on junk
food
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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 imposing a tax on unhealthy
food
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 may be considered an oppression, I am convinced that it is a wise decision. By introducing an additional levy, governments can not only reduce the burden on public hospitals but
also
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 improve public health.

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task
Show both sides a bit more. mention one or two counter points and then explain why your view stands.
language
Use short, simple sentences. avoid long, complicated lines.
content
Check facts you name. if you say a study or country, make sure it fits.
structure
Clear view and plan in intro and conclusion.
vocabulary
Good use of connecting words like To begin with and For example.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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