IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that if a country is already rich, any addition in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #country #addition #wealth #citizens
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There exists the perception that a rich
country
Use synonyms
 cannot make
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
citizens
Use synonyms
 happier by creating additional economic growth. Personally, I disagree with perception. In my opinion, it is possible for people who live in a rich
country
Use synonyms
 to be happier with subjoined
wealth
Use synonyms
 due to other aspects of their lives playing a vital role in creating
happiness
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 developing countries having
money
Use synonyms
 to brings
happiness
Use synonyms
 to a lot of people, it does not mean that all
citizens
Use synonyms
 are rich from individuals to a family unit. The level of
wealth
Use synonyms
 between rich and poor is obviously a distinction in rich counties. The additional economic
wealth
Use synonyms
 can give greater beneficial support for middle classes and families living in poverty. Take
for example
Linking Words
 for decreasing taxes levied on their groups and provide extra welfares support.
This
Linking Words
 will help to improve
M-shaped
Correct article usage
the M-shaped
show examples
 society that reduces the gap between the population of rich and poor.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 may not be a vital source of
happiness
Use synonyms
 but plays a crucial role in providing a material basis. People may not feel happier by the gain of additional
money
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
, they may find more
happiness
Use synonyms
 through the purpose of earning
money
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the government organization can be more completed by solid financial support. From there, the government can provide a wider range of assistance in
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 service and facilities for
citizens
Use synonyms
. Once they increase the safety and quality of life of
citizens
Use synonyms
, they will be happier in the
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, while the
country
Use synonyms
 is already rich the additional economic
wealth
Use synonyms
 lessens the population living in poverty and reinforces the
country
Use synonyms
’s development, leading to a better
country
Use synonyms
 with happier
citizens
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by janetchen1908 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: