Some people think that if a country is already rich, any addition in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #country #addition #wealth #citizens

There exists the perception that a rich

country

cannot make

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

citizens

happier by creating additional economic growth. Personally, I disagree with perception. In my opinion, it is possible for people who live in a rich

country

to be happier with subjoined

wealth

due to other aspects of their lives playing a vital role in creating

happiness

Although

developing countries having

money

to brings

happiness

to a lot of people, it does not mean that all

citizens

are rich from individuals to a family unit. The level of

wealth

between rich and poor is obviously a distinction in rich counties. The additional economic

wealth

can give greater beneficial support for middle classes and families living in poverty. Take

for example

for decreasing taxes levied on their groups and provide extra welfares support.

This

will help to improve

M-shaped

Correct article usage

the M-shaped

show examples

society that reduces the gap between the population of rich and poor.

Furthermore

money

may not be a vital source of

happiness

but plays a crucial role in providing a material basis. People may not feel happier by the gain of additional

money

instead

, they may find more

happiness

through the purpose of earning

money

For instance

, the government organization can be more completed by solid financial support. From there, the government can provide a wider range of assistance in

society

Replace the word

social

show examples

service and facilities for

citizens

. Once they increase the safety and quality of life of

citizens

, they will be happier in the

country

. In conclusion, while the

country

is already rich the additional economic

wealth

lessens the population living in poverty and reinforces the

country

’s development, leading to a better

country

with happier

citizens

Submitted by janetchen1908 on Sat Mar 27 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that if a country is already rich, any addition in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important what are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, the number of obese children is increasing rapidly, and many people believe that the government is responsible for this alarming problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children these days spend a lot of time apart from their parents because in many homes, both parents work. What problems can be caused by this? What are some ways to support such children?