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Band 7

Some people think that if a country is already rich, any addition in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #country #addition #wealth #citizens
There exists the perception that a rich
country
 cannot make
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
citizens
 happier by creating additional economic growth. Personally, I disagree with perception. In my opinion, it is possible for people who live in a rich
country
 to be happier with subjoined
wealth
 due to other aspects of their lives playing a vital role in creating
happiness
.
Although
 developing countries having
money
 to brings
happiness
 to a lot of people, it does not mean that all
citizens
 are rich from individuals to a family unit. The level of
wealth
 between rich and poor is obviously a distinction in rich counties. The additional economic
wealth
 can give greater beneficial support for middle classes and families living in poverty. Take
for example
 for decreasing taxes levied on their groups and provide extra welfares support.
This
 will help to improve
M-shaped
Correct article usage
the M-shaped
show examples
 society that reduces the gap between the population of rich and poor.
Furthermore
,
money
 may not be a vital source of
happiness
 but plays a crucial role in providing a material basis. People may not feel happier by the gain of additional
money
,
instead
, they may find more
happiness
 through the purpose of earning
money
.
For instance
, the government organization can be more completed by solid financial support. From there, the government can provide a wider range of assistance in
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 service and facilities for
citizens
. Once they increase the safety and quality of life of
citizens
, they will be happier in the
country
. In conclusion, while the
country
 is already rich the additional economic
wealth
 lessens the population living in poverty and reinforces the
country
’s development, leading to a better
country
 with happier
citizens
.
Submitted by janetchen1908 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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