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Band 6.5

The money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind,but it could be more specifically applied. How far do you agree?

#money #space #research #mankind
Governments are spending an enormous amount on
space
 research without understanding properly the pros and consequences of
this
. I strongly agree with
this
 because some
space
 travels are
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of money and other crucial areas of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society like education of common
people
 should be focused
.
Change preposition
on.
show examples
Firstly
, some
space
 travels are so expensive but the impact on the welfare of
universe
Correct article usage
the universe
show examples
 is very less. For
space
 travels,
space
 rockets are required and professionals
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could visit other
plantes
Correct your spelling
planets
plants
. They have to stay there for a longer period. Facilities that required are not cheap, the best
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 are needed.
Travel
 can be successful and cannot be too. For the
purpose
Add a comma
,purpose
show examples
 the
travel
 is made, is
also
 not sure to be achieved.
For instance
, every year many scientists reach Mars to check the
possibilty
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of life there, but it is not proven yet.
Nevertheless
,
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 spent on their
tarvel
Correct your spelling
travel
 is very huge for no good purpose.
Secodly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, the world need education
first
then
space
 travels. The literacy rate worldwide is very less. Some developing countries' situation is deteriorating. These countries have
massive
Add an article
a massive
show examples
 population of uneducated
people
. These countries should focus on providing education facilities to the common public.
For example
, India is
spenting
Correct your spelling
spending
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
lot
 on
space
travel
 for a better reputation globally;
however
, it has
massive
Add an article
a massive
show examples
 population of
people
 with
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 literacy rate.
Hence
,
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 spend millions on
space
travel
 which has very less impact on the welfare of society, authorities should focus on educating common
people
. In conclusion,
space
travel
 cost a lot but
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
 are not always positive. I believe
although
 it has a few benefits
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
these do not always have a
postivie
Correct your spelling
positive
 impact, many
space
 travels were not successful and other weak sections of society like uneducated
people
 should be taken care
.
Change preposition
of.
show examples
Submitted by Priya on

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