IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones (cellphones) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#countries #phones #cellphones #apps #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It goes without saying that technology has changed the world throughout the years, and one of the most significant developments was
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
the mobile
show examples
 phone. Cellphones are becoming increasingly popular nowadays as they are used for several activities,
such
Linking Words
 as
to buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
 products through apps.
However
Linking Words
, while some people claim that there are benefits in
this
Linking Words
 situation, I tend to believe that the downsides are greater. One of the major drawbacks is that elderly people usually prefer to pay in cash rather than access bank accounts on apps considering that it is quite challenging for them to get used to smartphones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it might be more economical to use
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 since some companies charge a fee for each digital service offered, which sums a considerable amount
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the month.
Likewise
Linking Words
, it is undoubtedly true that the connection with the internet is unstable in a great number of cities, especially during rainy days, which hinders consumers to make a digital transfer.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another reason why clients give up trying to purchase items online is that state-of-the-art devices do not offer a durable and efficient battery at the present days. There are,
however
Linking Words
, some advantages. It is undeniable that online transactions help the Earth as a whole since cards will become obsolete in the near future,
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
 the amount of plastic on the planet will decrease.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, it is cost-effective for businesses to operate online due to the fact that it might reduce expenses with professionals and furniture. To sum up, when it comes to technology to pay bills, it is essential to consider some aspects, preferences and costs
for instance
Linking Words
. Despite the benefits, the negative aspects outweigh the positive ones in
this
Linking Words
 matter because, from my point of view, some citizens still prefer to use money.
Submitted by alves.marilia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: