We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued by many that every country has their own problems, it is not realistic for helping everyone globally who are in need.

Therefore

Linking Words

, every individual should focus on their own nation only. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement as I believe it is necessary for everyone to play a part, making the world a better place.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are many underdeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

who currently suffering from poverty.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of their citizens are not even able to access the basic needs

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human being, adults would not have enough food to survive, not to mention feeding their children. If other developed

countries

Use synonyms

who are in a wealthier position did not play a part to support them, those citizens in poorer

countries

Use synonyms

would have died from starvation and illness. In

this

Linking Words

modern world, I feel that all humans should have an obligation to help those who live beyond our own nation, which can

also

Linking Words

prevent human extinction in the poorer

countries

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is true that many nations might have their own problems that need to be faced and resolved.

For instance

Linking Words

, homeless citizens and

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

unemployment rate still exist in many developed

countries

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I believe the government should be

the

Correct article usage

show examples

key role to address the problem and provide certain solutions to ease the situation. With no doubt, the problem faced by those poorer and undeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

are much more serious than those in our own communities, and it is often easier to help.

For example

Linking Words

, a small donation from

individual

Add an article

an individual

show examples

to an international charity might have a much greater impact. In conclusion, it is true that we cannot help everyone in the world.

However

Linking Words

, I strongly believe, as a human being who has the capability, should definitely put an effort to support those in need, regardless of the

nation

Replace the word

national

show examples

boundaries.

Submitted by rachel_mw1214 on Fri Apr 02 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.

according to some recent research rates for committing crime after a criminal's release are concerning at such high numbers, although unspecified.

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good while others think there disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.