IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think exposure to modern technology at an earlier age is good for children, while others claim that it is harmful for their development. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #exposure #technology #age #children #development
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The modern
Correct article usage
Modern
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technology
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 has a vital role in the
growth
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 of counties young generation. Few people are in favour of the
exposure
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 of the latest
technology
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 to
children
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 and few are
againt
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against
 it, as it is
dengerous
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dangerous
 for
chield
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child
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growth
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. In
this
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essay
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,essay
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 we will argue both
the
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apply
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sides, but as per my opinion
exposure
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 to
a
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apply
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technology
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 at
the
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a
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 young age is beneficial to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
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children
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.
Parents
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 are the better judge of their
children
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growth
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grow
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 and it is obvious that they think exposing child
towards
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to
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 new
technology
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 can harm their development. They
wory
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worry
 about the
exposure
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 to
technology
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 could involve
children
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 in
unnessesory
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unnecessary
 activities
such
Linking Words
 as internet hacking, online
gamming
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gaming
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 and watching
distracted
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distracting
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 sites. Indeed it is found in
UK
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the UK
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 40% of the younger generation is involved in
the
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apply
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cyber crimes. These few instances
has
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have
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blostered
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bolstered
 the existing fear in the
parents
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 to expose
chiled
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child
chilled
 to new
technology
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 and protect them to avoid the unwanted issues which should not come
to
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apply
show examples
their way. The other part is that
,
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apply
show examples
 few
parents
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 think
,
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apply
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 when
children
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 are exposed more towards modern
technology
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 they learn and
aquire
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acquire
require
 more knowledge. Modern
technology
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 has provided many channels by which
children
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 gain information about nature, surroundings,
climets
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climates
clients
climate
 and many more. The best example is
the
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apply
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Google, where young
children
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 can search required data and use that in their regular activities and even in their academic. So usage of
latest
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the latest
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technology
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 can bring a wide scope to the development of the
chield
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child
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.
This
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 essay portrait that
inspite
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in spite
 few
parents
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 are
againt
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against
 the
exposure
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of
Change preposition
to
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 modern
technology
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 at
early
Add an article
an early
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 age ,the advantages of
exposure
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outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
this
Linking Words
 argument. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 it is
a
Change the article
the
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 best way to provide
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opportunity
oppotunity
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the oppotunity
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 to use updated
technology
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 at
the
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a
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 young age which will help them in the development and the
growth
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 of their own brain.
Submitted by NehaC on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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