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Band 4

Some people think exposure to modern technology at an earlier age is good for children, while others claim that it is harmful for their development. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #exposure #technology #age #children #development
The modern
Correct article usage
Modern
show examples
technology
 has a vital role in the
growth
 of counties young generation. Few people are in favour of the
exposure
 of the latest
technology
 to
children
 and few are
againt
Correct your spelling
against
 it, as it is
dengerous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
 for
chield
Correct your spelling
child
show examples
growth
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we will argue both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides, but as per my opinion
exposure
 to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
technology
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young age is beneficial to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
.
Parents
 are the better judge of their
children
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 and it is obvious that they think exposing child
towards
Change preposition
to
show examples
 new
technology
 can harm their development. They
wory
Correct your spelling
worry
 about the
exposure
 to
technology
 could involve
children
 in
unnessesory
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 activities
such
 as internet hacking, online
gamming
Correct your spelling
gaming
show examples
 and watching
distracted
Replace the word
distracting
show examples
 sites. Indeed it is found in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 40% of the younger generation is involved in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cyber crimes. These few instances
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
blostered
Correct your spelling
bolstered
 the existing fear in the
parents
 to expose
chiled
Correct your spelling
child
chilled
 to new
technology
 and protect them to avoid the unwanted issues which should not come
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their way. The other part is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 few
parents
 think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when
children
 are exposed more towards modern
technology
 they learn and
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
require
 more knowledge. Modern
technology
 has provided many channels by which
children
 gain information about nature, surroundings,
climets
Correct your spelling
climates
clients
climate
 and many more. The best example is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Google, where young
children
 can search required data and use that in their regular activities and even in their academic. So usage of
latest
Add an article
the latest
show examples
technology
 can bring a wide scope to the development of the
chield
Correct your spelling
child
show examples
.
This
 essay portrait that
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 few
parents
 are
againt
Correct your spelling
against
 the
exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 modern
technology
 at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
 age ,the advantages of
exposure
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
this
 argument. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way to provide
Correct your spelling
opportunity
oppotunity
Correct article usage
the oppotunity
show examples
 to use updated
technology
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young age which will help them in the development and the
growth
 of their own brain.
Submitted by NehaC on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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