The best way to educate children is by using the internet in every lesson. To what extent do you share this opinion? What other ways are there of making lessons effective for children?

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It is widely known that modern technologies are developed in almost every aspect, just as
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Internet
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the Internet

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is proposed to be
useful
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a useful

The noun phrase useful approach seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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approach to educate young people in every lesson. I partially disagree with
this
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notion for several reasons and there are several possible alternatives to offer lessons more effectively. Perhaps, one of
plausible
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the plausible

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reasons is that the
using
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use

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of
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Internet
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the Internet

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affect negatively to
children
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development due to that
such
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technology not only lacks their intellectual ability but
also
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may lead to addiction. It is assumed that,
for instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

were addicted to access
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Internet
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the Internet

The noun phrase Internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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, they would rely on it to accomplish their works in every lesson.
Thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
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could let
children
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not
to
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apply

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be openly critical.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the excessive use of
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Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet

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brings about some health-related issues
such
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as eye disorder and obesity. It might appear that
,
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apply

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these days, many
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

use thick-lensed glasses and deal with obesity at an early age which is likely
adverse
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an adverse

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effects of using
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Internet
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the Internet

The noun phrase Internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. Regarding the possible alternatives, we could involve
children
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to
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in

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multi-sensory
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a multi-sensory

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learning method which encourages
children
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to learn
subjects
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in more funny ways
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as games, rule cards and puzzles. It might appear that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

approach could develop
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s ability and stimulate their brain to comprehend
subjects
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

practically.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, unlike
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Internet
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the Internet

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that only shows information visually, recreational activity seems to be
the
Correct article usage
a

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suitable alternative for
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Those activities
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as school trip and study tour play an important role to support the
comrehension
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comprehension

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of
subjects
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To demonstrate
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, introducing young people to museum and historical places presumably gives
positive
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a positive

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improvement of learning
subjects
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
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Internet
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the Internet

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contributes negative impacts
to
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on

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young
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the young

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generation considering their developments and health problems to be the most prominent goals.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, several possible alternatives
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
multi-sensory
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a multi-sensory

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learning approach and recreational activities would bring
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to learn every subject
more
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in more

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creative and
more
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in more

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effective ways.
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