IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?

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In the modern world , overseas travelling is most common . Individuals visiting different countries for their holidays . Some people believe that overseas visitors should charged extra compared to their home
country
Use synonyms
 fellow . I strongly disagree with
this
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 assertion and
this
Linking Words
 essay will acknowledge the validity of
this
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 statement and elaborate my reason. Tourism is one of the crucial sources of
income
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 in any
country
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 . Few countries' economy totally relies on foreign visitors .
For instance
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,the Taj Mahal in India which is one of the seven wonders of the world ,
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
 millions of abroad
public
Correct word choice
apply
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which generates tons of revenue for the government through entry tickets.
In addition
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 to that , it creates employment opportunities for residents
as well as
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 businesses. If the prices are higher for those spots which adversely
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 the number of visitors
as a result
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 it will reduce
overall
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income
Use synonyms
 to authorities .Foreigners will not interested in showing up
instead
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 they will choose other destinations.
However
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, the government should frame policies as either the same price for all nations or free for a few
country
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's citizens .To cite a good example , in Nepal, Pushpa Nath temple allows Indians free entry ,which makes more people visit .
Moreover
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, it makes more number ,
Correct word choice
and
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in return, it boots foreign flow of
income
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 to their
country
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 .
To sum up
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 , similar prices for national and international citizens, not only impress the tourist but
also
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 bring a foreign flow of
income
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 through aeroplane tickets , visa fees
as well as
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 shopping .

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your essay followed this structure well, leading to a coherent argument.
Development
Work on developing your ideas more fully and clearly. Each paragraph should introduce a main idea, followed by examples or explanations to support it.
Linking Words
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. This includes conjunctions, synonyms, and transition words.
Grammar
Check your essay for minor grammatical errors and aim to vary your sentence structures to enhance readability.
Balanced Argument
Offer a balanced view by discussing opposing viewpoints more thoroughly, even if you disagree with them. This will help to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Response
You effectively addressed the prompt by taking a clear stance and supporting it with relevant examples.
Content Support
Provided a good range of examples and reasons to support your viewpoint.
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