Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that is a positive or negative development?

#sport #business #companies #events #development

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It has been claimed by some that sport is becoming a profitable

business

where many companies are interested in being involved for their profits. In my opinion,

this

is a negative development.

This

essay will examine my view in more details. It is undeniable that big sporting

events

are being financially supported by some big companies, turning them into profitable businesses and changing the whole purpose of these games. Even more,

athletes

are offered a big sum of

money

by companies if they advertise for their brands.

Moreover

, if they win, those businesses will pay them another chunk of the

money

In other words

this

can put them into lots of stress and anxiety resulting in unhealthy competition between team members . If

this

trend continues,

sports

events

will become more of a competition between

business

rivals as opposed to being a friendly play between players. Another downside of

this

development lies in the fact that

athletes

look at sport as a

money

trade

instead

of enjoying the play.

Thus

, some

athletes

do lots of illegal moves to gain even more

money

and the ramification for them would be to be banned from playing in their team forever.

For example

, during the 2010 world Olympics, a famous athlete from Russia used illegal substances to increase his power and lifted 50 lbs more weight than his counterpart. Once the community of dopping noticed he cheated, he was banned for 3 years from any competitive

sports

and he lost his reputation across the world. To sum up, it is my belief that turning

sports

events

into

business

has changed the whole meaning of these

events

around the world, has put

athletes

in lots of unnecessary stress and troubles. It would be best if we could separate

business

from

sports

events

and only enjoy sporting

events

for the sake of fun only.

Submitted by armiario139 on Tue Apr 06 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that is a positive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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