Teenagers should never be put in the same prison with adults no matter how serious their crime is. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#teenagers #prison #adults #matter #crime

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, young persons are involved in a

lot

Add the preposition

lot of

show examples

crimes in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society which warrants a jail term. It has been suggested that they should not be put in the same cell as

grown ups

Add a hyphen

grown-ups

show examples

for certain reasons and I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion.

This

Linking Words

Essay will discuss why these two groups of persons should not be locked together. Teenagers should not be confined in

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

area

Use synonyms

adults

Change preposition

as adults

show examples

in a correctional facility for several reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, they may get abused and assaulted in the prison,

this

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that when older inmates are kept with younger people, they feel a sense of superiority and may begin to abuse the little ones. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

example, a case like

this

Linking Words

was reported in a prison in Nigeria, where a

nineteen years old

Correct your spelling

nineteen-year-old

show examples

boy was beaten to

coma

Correct article usage

a coma

show examples

adults

Use synonyms

in the same space for refusing to wash their clothes.

In addition

Linking Words

, some of them end up getting molested sexually which would not have been so if they had separate rooms.

Secondly

Linking Words

, a lot of teenagers may come down with behavioural problems if allowed to stay with people above their age group, because some may end up picking bad habits and learn antisocial behaviours from these

adults

Use synonyms

and may even come out from jail worse than how they went it.

For instance

Linking Words

, studies in the past decades have revealed that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

about 70% of youths who were convicted came out worse than they were before going to jail,

as a result

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, continues to suffer.

Also

Linking Words

, some of them have reported being cajoled by these persons into engaging in practices

such

Linking Words

as smoking. In conclusion, I think it is safer and wiser for prisons to have different cells for

adults

Use synonyms

and youths.

Submitted by uwakmfonessien05 on Thu Apr 08 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the position and the main points. The conclusion should also summarize the key arguments made in the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and coherence between paragraphs. Use clear topic sentences and transitions to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In the future all cars ,buses and trucks will be driver less.The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driver less vehicles outweigh the disadvantages.
In this era, transportation technology has been developed as regards to less drivers. All transportation including public and private vehicles also gradually increased compared to the past decade. In my opinion, there are a plethora of advantages outweighing drawbacks that will be described in this essay.
5
band
Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching TV influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your opinion
One of the primary passing time activities for children is watching TV. Yet, a rising argument revolving around how TV contribute to a child's behaviour is going viral. Some people believe that the content is the main factor affecting how children act. Meanwhile, others find that the hours spent on TV are more likely to influence how they behave. Accordingly, this essay will discuss both views and then I will provide my opinion.
4.5
band
In many countries, governments spemd large amounts of money on the arts and this is supported by some taxpayers as worthwhile. Others, however think that this money would be better spent on health and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these opinions? Discuss, based on your knowledge and experience.
It is true that, the government's funds play a crucial role in every nations. In many nations, arts are received large funds from the government, and this money is collected from the tax payers while others say that education and health sectors are needed more money to improve and arts money would be spent on there Sectors. I strongly agree with this statement for the following reasons.
6.5
band
In order to cover the increasing cost of expenses, more and more people work very long shifts and have two or more jobs. give your opinion whether the advantages of working very long hours or having more than one job outweigh the disadvantages.
An increasing number of people work extremely long hours or have more jobs to pay enough for the costs of expenditure. It's obvious that applying for extra hours and working several jobs are going to highly gain profit.
5.5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
The global sugar consumption has significantly surged over the past few years, consequently, leading to an increase in health problems. To mitigate this issue, many people advodate that drinks and food products that contain high sugar levels should be made more expensive. I strongly concur with the suggestion as I believe that high costs would discourage people from buying such products.

Teenagers should never be put in the same prison with adults no matter how serious their crime is. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

In the future all cars ,buses and trucks will be driver less.The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driver less vehicles outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching TV influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In order to cover the increasing cost of expenses, more and more people work very long shifts and have two or more jobs. give your opinion whether the advantages of working very long hours or having more than one job outweigh the disadvantages.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?