Teenagers should never be put in the same prison with adults no matter how serious their crime is. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#teenagers #prison #adults #matter #crime

Nowadays, young persons are involved in a

lot

Add the preposition

lot of

show examples

crimes in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society which warrants a jail term. It has been suggested that they should not be put in the same cell as

grown ups

Add a hyphen

grown-ups

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for certain reasons and I completely agree with

this

opinion.

This

Essay will discuss why these two groups of persons should not be locked together. Teenagers should not be confined in

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

area

adults

Change preposition

as adults

show examples

in a correctional facility for several reasons.

Firstly

, they may get abused and assaulted in the prison,

this

due to

the fact that when older inmates are kept with younger people, they feel a sense of superiority and may begin to abuse the little ones. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

example, a case like

this

was reported in a prison in Nigeria, where a

nineteen years old

Correct your spelling

nineteen-year-old

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boy was beaten to

coma

Correct article usage

a coma

show examples

adults

in the same space for refusing to wash their clothes.

In addition

, some of them end up getting molested sexually which would not have been so if they had separate rooms.

Secondly

, a lot of teenagers may come down with behavioural problems if allowed to stay with people above their age group, because some may end up picking bad habits and learn antisocial behaviours from these

adults

and may even come out from jail worse than how they went it.

For instance

, studies in the past decades have revealed that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

about 70% of youths who were convicted came out worse than they were before going to jail,

as a result

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, continues to suffer.

Also

, some of them have reported being cajoled by these persons into engaging in practices

such

as smoking. In conclusion, I think it is safer and wiser for prisons to have different cells for

adults

and youths.

Submitted by uwakmfonessien05 on Thu Apr 08 2021

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task response

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the position and the main points. The conclusion should also summarize the key arguments made in the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and coherence between paragraphs. Use clear topic sentences and transitions to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Teenagers should never be put in the same prison with adults no matter how serious their crime is. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In order to be successful in sport, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children’s time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, people are having children at later age in life. What are the reasons? Do the advantage outweigh disadvantages?