IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that climate change has a negative effect on businesses, while others believe it provides great opportunities for them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Ecosystem
change
Use synonyms
 is often believed to have a negative impact on organisations,
while
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 some people argue that it can generate significant possibilities for them. In my opinion, I strongly believe that environmental
change
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 affects all kinds of
companies
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,
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;
show examples
however
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, their impact mainly depends on their types. Many kinds of fields may suffer
due to
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 environmental variation.
For example
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, the agriculture and tourism industries are heavily dependent on stable weather conditions.
This
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 is because planning strategies for agricultural production mainly rely on predictable climates. If ecosystem
change
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 occurs, many farmlands may face serious problems
such
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 as droughts, floods, and declining crop yields.
Similarly
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, global
change
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 plays a crucial role in the tourism industry.
For instance
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, a considerable number of journeys are often delayed when weather conditions
change
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.
As a result
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, many
companies
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 involved in the tourism sector,
such
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 as hotels and travel agencies, may experience a higher level of losses.
Therefore
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, these examples show that ecosystem
change
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 can bring serious financial losses to industries that rely on stable weather conditions.
On the other hand
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, some types of sectors may increase their income because of the changing global balance.
For example
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, renewable energy
companies
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 can earn money when people start using clean energy
instead
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 of oil and gas. Many countries around the world might increase their focus heavily to reduce air pollution
,
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;
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therefore
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, they construct many sorts of solar panels and wind farms.
As a consequence
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 of these efforts, some
companies
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 in the renewable energy sector can attract more customers and increase their profits.
Therefore
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, it can bring a considerable amount of profit for some business industries if it continues to
change
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. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 changing the global balance can have both negative and positive effects on industry.
However
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, in my opinion, its negative impacts are stronger and can harm many types of business sectors.

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task response
Balance the view with more ideas for both sides.
coherence
Use more simple signs to show flow from one idea to the next.
coherence
Add a short plan in the intro and a short wrap up at the end.
task response
Give more varied and clear examples for each point.
task response
The writer shows a clear own view.
task response
Examples link weather to business loss and gain.
coherence
The essay has a clear order with separate blocks for idea groups.
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