Goverenment should spend more money on education than on recration and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that the government should focus on investing a big amount of currency on improving the infrastructure of schools, colleges and universities rather than paying for Olympics games and for the renovation of the old buildings.In my opinion,
although
, it is important to maintain the
country
heritage
such
as buildings, roads and promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
on an international level , the government should encourage the youth to do study and help the
country
to become more advance and developed.
Young
Add an article
The young
A young
show examples
generation of every
country
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a vital role in the development of the
country
because they come up with new ideas and energy which they can
utilized
Change the verb form
utilize
show examples
in the growth not only of
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
sector but
also
health, education, and technology. If each citizen of the
country
is literate
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
they can find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job easily and due to that unemployment rate is less because of that individuals can
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their needs.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
there is
low
Add an article
a low
show examples
chance of crime and robberies. To illustrates, in, most of the developed countries the population is well educated and have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
suitable jobs which help the nation to become economically strong.
However
, some people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
that it is better if the administration of the
country
spent on
sports
and new construction because ts
tow
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
things
Correct pronoun usage
that represents
show examples
represents
Change the verb form
represent
show examples
that how the
country
is powerful and well built.
Besides
this
,
sports
also
demonstrates their
country
at
international
Add an article
the international
show examples
platform if authorities pay some amount as a reward for the players it will encourage them to perform well in the games
moreover
, they can
also
influenced
Change the verb form
influence
show examples
the youth of the
country
to participate in various games. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I feel that the government should do more towards funding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education because if the people of the
countery
Correct your spelling
country
are well educated
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
they can perform better
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
any platform either it is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
, business, or
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a doctors
Correct the article-noun agreement
a doctor
doctors
show examples
.
Submitted by daisysharma0087 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: