IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Goverenment should spend more money on education than on recration and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#goverenment #money #education #recration #sports
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It is argued that the government should focus on investing a big amount of currency on improving the infrastructure of schools, colleges and universities rather than paying for Olympics games and for the renovation of the old buildings.In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
, it is important to maintain the
country
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 heritage
such
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 as buildings, roads and promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sports
Use synonyms
 on an international level , the government should encourage the youth to do study and help the
country
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 to become more advance and developed.
Young
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The young
A young
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 generation of every
country
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play
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plays
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 a vital role in the development of the
country
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 because they come up with new ideas and energy which they can
utilized
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utilize
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 in the growth not only of
business
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the business
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 sector but
also
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 health, education, and technology. If each citizen of the
country
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 is literate
than
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then
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 they can find
the
Correct article usage
a
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 job easily and due to that unemployment rate is less because of that individuals can
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their needs.
As a
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result
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,result
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 there is
low
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a low
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 chance of crime and robberies. To illustrates, in, most of the developed countries the population is well educated and have
a
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apply
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suitable jobs which help the nation to become economically strong.
However
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, some people
believes
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believe
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 that it is better if the administration of the
country
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 spent on
sports
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 and new construction because ts
tow
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two
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 things
Correct pronoun usage
that represents
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represents
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represent
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 that how the
country
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 is powerful and well built.
Besides
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this
Linking Words
,
sports
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also
Linking Words
 demonstrates their
country
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 at
international
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the international
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 platform if authorities pay some amount as a reward for the players it will encourage them to perform well in the games
moreover
Linking Words
, they can
also
Linking Words
influenced
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influence
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 the youth of the
country
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 to participate in various games. In
conculsion
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conclusion
, I feel that the government should do more towards funding
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education because if the people of the
countery
Correct your spelling
country
 are well educated
than
Correct your spelling
then
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 they can perform better
in
Change preposition
on
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 any platform either it is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sports
Use synonyms
, business, or
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a doctors
Correct the article-noun agreement
a doctor
doctors
show examples
.
Submitted by daisysharma0087 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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