IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#youth #crime #parents #skills
The most effective method to decrease the rate of younger generation crime is to have parenting educational programs for parents. I believe
this
 way might be beneficial,
although
, schools have to take action either because
this
 location has its own impacts.
To begin
 with, the crime rate that has been done by the youth has increased and it is essential to solve it from its first point. Children spend a significant amount of their time with their parents and usually, the initial signs of anti-social behaviours are revealed in households, so it is important to educate
families
 to tackle it and prevent those traits from flourishing.
For instance
,
families
 can learn how to interact with their angry teens or learn how to control their immature children's behaviours and
lastly
 how to inform their teenagers about the consequences of their actions . in my view, it is important to prevent bad habits before being
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 to solve them.
Additionally
, just educating households will not have a major impact on the criminal aspects of the young and schools have to cooperate with
this
 action, because scholars spend half of their day in
this
 community.
As a result
, managers and teachers have to observe and report some specific behaviours,
such
 as bullying and constant fighting. Because if the youngsters are informed , gradually, they will avoid doing those bad temperaments. In conclusion, in my opinion, educational plans for parents can have a beneficial impact on the reduction of youngsters' crime rate, because
families
 will learn how to react to their dissatisfied children,
However
, justifying
families
 will not have a significant effect so it is positive to schools take action and prevent some bad habits and control those young population in their community.
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow. Including a mixture of complex and compound sentences can create a more engaging text.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to support your arguments with more specific examples or data when possible. This strengthens your argument and makes it more persuasive.
general
Remember to proofread your essay for minor spelling or grammar mistakes, as addressing these can polish your writing and make your arguments clearer.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and states your opinion, providing a clear direction for your argument.
task achievement
The essay remains focused on the topic, and you successfully address both sides of the argument, which is crucial for achieving a higher score in task response.
coherence cohesion
You effectively use paragraphs to organize your thoughts, and each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which aids in coherence and cohesion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: